Mumspiration

When my husband and I were looking for a new house, I would stare all day long at interior design ideas and sites, hoping and wishing for the perfect furniture for practically nothing and rooms that look like something out of a catalogue for barely any work.  During these home p*rn searches, I came across loads of Ikea hacks and DIYs that seemed like anyone could do them.  I curse myself for having so many DIY ideas but not having the skills to actually formulate them. 

I bookmarked so many projects which fell by the wayside (like the rocket bookshelf, a guestroom headboard, distressing a side table and decoupaging a child's table and chairs that the previous owners left behind).  There were so many amazing women who had DIYed their own homes and crafted some beautiful pieces of furniture and quite frankly I was jealous.  To be completely honest, I can't even say I started or completed even one project!  Anyway, I will get back to the point and berate myself later. 

During one particular search for tufted headboards I could have made for our guestroom, I came across this site:

http://www.running-from-the-law.com/

I viewed the post about the headboard in envy, then I found myself reading through other posts.  I spent hours looking at photos of Sara's life, a person who I have never met before.  Something struck a chord and I  bookmarked her blog.  I needn't have bothered because almost two years later her page still remains open in a tab on our iPad which gets refreshed every week so I can read her latest post. 

This may sound odd and stalkery which I can appreciate and I am not intending to be a creep.  Indeed my husband finds it odd and I imagine so would Sara if she ever read this.  I have never commented on her posts or followed her on social media but I feel a strange affinity with her and her life.  Her candid accounts of everything make me read her posts as though she were one of my friends.  I can only relate to some of what she has blogged about (that's as much as possible with one child and a different lifestyle on a completely different continent) but I still feel like her words resonate with me (see the posts about resolutions and Christmas photos).  

I have always been keen on keeping the internet a place where my son would eventually choose himself whether to have an online presence but someone sharing their life in this way makes me appreciate family life and a parent's love even more.   

I guess what I am trying to say is, in the great wide interweb, there is a lot of scary information out there when you're a new parent and sometimes when you're looking for reassurance a forum just doesn't cut it.  It's refreshing to see a mum out there who isn't all about the good all of the time as parenting at least for me isn't 100% the best all of the time.  Sara is one of my mumspirations and I'm glad there is someone out there who can just keep it real every now and again so I know that I'm not abnormal. 

~AB~

Welcome to 2016

As you may or may not have seen my first post of the new year was about... pushchairs.  There will be no posts about resolutions and how I intend to change just because it's a brand new year I'm afraid.

My whole life has been spent giving career and lifestyle deadlines and demanding changes of myself within unrealistic timescales.  What I have learnt is that sometimes as long as I have a goal, I need to let things happen themselves.  Having my son has changed so many things for me, my body, my lifestyle but most importantly, the way I think.  I was an impatient person, always wanting to be in control and always wanting things my way.   Since my son's birth I have felt the change in me.  I'm not saying that I have had an epiphany but I am definitely more patient, a little more understanding and I have even become more relaxed about the organisation of my social life to the point that friends have commented it's not like me not to know and have planned every element.  It's also not that I have become lazy or bored with life but priorities have meant I need to be more realistic with planning everything.  My son appears to have my impatience and my controlling nature which has too forced me to adapt.  Two of us with those same personality traits would not make any situation a comfortable one.  

I have been working on myself for quite some time and more so in last 6 or so months and there have been many moments where I have felt that I had changed a little for the better.  Take for example my son snapping my white gold necklace where I could have lost my rag but I knew it wasn't his fault.  He was curious and also holding onto something of mine made me feel closer to him.  Old me would have been furious.  New me was like, oh well just another thing to get fixed!  On the physical side, I wasn't exactly skinny before I fell pregnant and then during pregnancy I fell in love with pizza so as you can imagine, after pregnancy I shouldn't have been surprised at my size but it was a shock and yes I was very down about it for a long time.  I didn't feel myself and I knew I had to shift the weight for the sake of my own health and now here I am, much lighter and although I'm still very very wobbly, I'm much happier in myself.  I will get rid of this sagging belly skin though if it is the last thing I do (through exercise and healthy eating and nothing else).  

Things have changed and I have changed.  It hasn't taken a brand new year,  it has taken the birth of a child and my effect on him and his life.  I expect in 2016, I will change even more and hopefully for the better as I watch my son reach his second birthday and hopefully regain back some of my sanity as this baby brain business is like torture for my inner control freak.  So no, I won't be making any resolutions this year but what I will do is continue to take care of me and those around me, I will strive to make me a better me for the sake of my son and if it takes years then so be it, but if it can happen this year then great.  I won't hold my breath and I won't be setting any deadlines for it anymore. 

Happy and healthy 2016 to you and if you're striving for a better you too, I'm wishing you all the best. 

~AB~

Pushchair wars

When my husband and I realised we were expecting there were already a few of our friends and family who had babies that we could draw advice from.  A lot of mums I know collect pushchairs/buggies and alternate between them all depending on their preference, convenience, outfit choice etc, the market for second hand pushchairs and buggies is ripe with every possible model you could want.  Although we're not massively snobby, my husband and I were not interested in second hand.  This is our first baby we thought, we must spend money so our second baby gets only one level of hand-me-down. 

We set out testing the pushchairs of all of the parents we know and eventually we settled on one, a Mamas & Papas Sola.  At that point an updated version had already been released but we were sold and happily handed them our money for a Sola2.  It was easy to push round, I could push it easily with one hand, the Aton car seat that was compatible with it was the lightest we had felt and was also suitable for ISOFIX and non-ISOFIX cars.   I could imagine pushing my little boy around in it with pride and ease.  On the negative side the pushchair itself is quite heavy and weirdly, is wider at the back making it difficult to squeeze through small bus aisles (see my earlier rant about Transport for London buses). 

I didn't think it could be topped even when my mum mentioned that she intended on buying a new stroller for her to use when she ferries our son around on their days together.   Her reasonings were that our pushchair/travel system was too difficult to use (it's really not), it was too big and should she need to collapse it on the bus, it would be too difficult whilst holding my son.   After doing some serious research and budgeting, we settled on a Maclaren Quest.

Maclarens were the pushchairs of my generation, both my husband and I were pushed around in one and they were universal.  Plus it comes with a lifetime guarantee, that's what I'm talking about.  I was so reluctant to use it but eventually we came round.  The stroller is so light they have a built in handle for it to be carried on its side and a further strap for carrying it over your shoulder should you be so inclined.   They proudly state that it can be collapsed easily with one hand and this is not a lie, it's swift and convenient.  Better still, it takes less time to get my son in it, it fits through our front doors (the other one won't fit through the first door) and it's so narrow, without compromising on comfort, that it easily fits down bus aisles and in our porch where the umbrellas usually are without taking up too much space.  I have also been out and out on public transport easily carrying my son up and down stairs in the Quest something I would never consider in the Sola.  BUT, there are also negatives.  Basket space and accessibility is awful compared to the Sola which carries our changing bag so easily that we don't have to hang it from the handles like the Quest and then once our son is out, wait for it to topple backwards.  Steering also seems to be a little awkward and we have noticed that we have to put in effort for it to drive straight.  There is also no pushing with one hand unless you want to end up going in an anticlockwise circle.  As any parent knows you need to learn to do everything one handed and not being able to push a pushchair with one hand is another annoyance.

Either way, although we don't have something that is the best of both worlds, we're totally happy with our two pushchairs.  We definitely won't become collectors and if we are lucky enough to have another child, they will have to settle with hand-me-downs as this house is not big enough for a third one. 

~AB~

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

I know there has been a distinct lack of posts on my account and for that I apologise.  Life has again gotten in the way and this happens to be (other than October) the busiest time of the year for our family with a son born in December.

The preparations took a lot longer than I expected and my husband being the trooper he is, had to step in to help make everything on time.  Nonetheless, I am now blogging from the other side of a very successful 1st birthday and 1st proper Christmas.  This time last year, I was still in hospital waiting to be discharged so our Christmas didn't take place till the 27th and it was cold Christmas dinner and crying newborns all round.  I wanted everything to be perfect and although old me would have picked at little things that happened, new me thinks neither could have gone any better if they tried especially with an unpredictable toddler.

So without further ado, a run down on what I have been up to during this busy time.  As you know, I had photos of my son and our family done for his 1st birthday.  Unfortunately, my son was not having a very cooperative day but we did manage to get some lovely pictures including at least one of our family I would be proud to display on our wall... yay.  He wasn't interested in smashing the cake at all, he tried a bit, turned his nose up and then tried to wreak havoc by running around the photographer's house with cake covered hands.  That being said, we also have some fantastic pictures of when he did approach the cake and then got washed off afterwards.  As you know, I had to make my skirt as apparently a reasonably priced navy tulle skirt is not something easy available on the current market, so here was my finished outfit taken after the first photoshoot.

   

Then there was the birthday.   The rundown was basically this: Filling his room with balloons while he slept, leisurely breakfast, opening presents, getting changed, Father Christmas in his grotto at 1.15pm, lunch with the family in the Rainforest Cafe's restaurant at 1.45pm and then Kew Gardens Christmas Night Walk at 5pm.  Sounds easy right? Well, I don't know how but we were still a little late for the night walk but it still worked out fine.  For ease, here are the links to what we did: 
http://www.therainforestcafe.co.uk/events/grotto (I know I posted this a couple of posts ago)
http://www.kew.org/visit-kew-gardens/whats-on/christmas-at-kew-2015

Now the Rainforest Cafe we thought would be a great place for kids and to an extent it is but there seem to be a lot of steps/stairs everywhere and no ramps so my son being the climber he is was off exploring all of them.  The staff employed there left a lot to be desired.  I won't name names of the bad ones but out of the very many we encountered, there only seemed to be two who actually knew what they were doing.  I also won't go into great detail about how many times we were asked how many people were in our party (despite me confirming numbers) then who were the three with allergies only to have a what seemed like endless discussion about how many high chairs and to be given food that wasn't dairy-free as the servers didn't think to ask.  That aside, my son seemed to enjoy himself.  He loved the decor, being sung to and trying to stamp on the projections on the floor (of fish and leaves).   This is all I could have asked for and he was none the wiser about the staff and confusion thankfully.

The night walk was great, my son absolutely loving lights and the outdoors was unfortunately asleep for the first part of the walk but thankfully we managed to sneak round again when he did wake up for him to do the best bit, a light curtain.  The only way I think to explain it is, if you have seen Frozen, when Anna and Kristoph are trying to find Elsa and they wander into what seems be curtains of icicle crystals.  Imagine this, in lights.  My son was in light heaven and didn't want to leave! I would definitely recommend it for kids although it is quite a walk round so wrap up warm and be prepared.  We also had some amazing marshmallows from the Marshmallowist stand which topped it all off perfectly.  My son fell asleep on our drive home content and probably exhausted from all of the excitement.  His face on the night walk spoke a thousand words and I couldn't be happier he enjoyed himself. 

Trying to schlep his cake across London wasn't appealing so we ended up cutting the cake the day after and he still enjoyed all of the attention.  Again in an earlier post, I posted the image of the cake I was hoping to model my son's after.  I will caveat now, I'm in no way a professional as you will see below but I think it turned out pretty well! 

 

Finally Christmas day was extremely busy and full of presents and food but in the end, my son loved his new toys (only a couple of them, the rest were ignored) and absolutely loved his Christmas dinner.   He got to visit my parents and my sister and had a good old play around in my Dad's house flitting from room to room exploring. 

All in all, who can complain when your son is happy and enjoyed himself? Certainly not me, the mother of a toddler. 

Hope you had an amazing Christmas and wishing you all a very Happy New Year. 

~AB~

Driving home for Christmas

I have been able to drive for over a decade now.  It's a fortunate position to be in as many Londoners don't bother to learn to drive because public transport is so convenient.  Since passing my test I have always had a car and had always been reliant on driving but in March 2013, my husband and I had to hand back his company car as he was leaving the company and we were left car-less ever since.  

As I have mentioned public transport makes it easy to get to anywhere we need to go so this wasn't an issue.  Then I fell pregnant and my in-laws couldn't cope with us being car-less so put my husband on their car insurance (again them also being Londoners means they don't use their cars much either).   Since my son was born I was then also put on the car insurance but having not driven since 2013, I had been too scared to jump in front of the wheel.  I know this may seem like an overreaction but people do crazy things on the road and it was daunting to have to remember everything whilst not getting into an accident.  My husband kindly took me out so I could do some laps of a car park as I have also never driven an automatic car before.   As I have slowly become more confident,  I keep being asked why don't I drive my son here, or drive him there and again I have been too scared.  He is my precious cargo and I am a rusty driver, I didn't want to put him at risk.  

On Tuesday, my son was extremely unwell he couldn't keep down anything and started vomiting bile.  For those who know my son, he is a waif of a baby.  He has a little pot belly but he is still under 10kg so for him to constantly vomit you can imagine my concern.  I called our potential non-emergency line and they advised to take him to hospital.  How would I get him there? The pushchair and bus would take over an hour, a taxi would take 20ish minutes but would cost money and I didn't have cash or... I could drive. Because of a mixture of fear and concern I drove my son to hospital.  Maybe he could read the situation and how scared I was but my son played and babbled to himself and there were no tears when he couldn't see me, so the car journey was completely stress free. 

My son was eventually fine but I was elated.  I had just managed to safely drive my son somewhere.  This opened up a whole new world of places we could visit together and I finally felt confident I could do it.  The following day I took us to a taster toddler gymnastics class but to get there via public transport would have meant over an hour's travel on three trains, I got there in 20 minutes by car.  I should mention that the venue is under 5 miles away but there is no direct transport there.  What a revelation!  

I know I'm speaking like cars are a new thing I have just discovered but I was genuinely too scared to drive my son anywhere.  Now I feel like we can truly explore and I couldn't be more excited about it especially just in time for Christmas.

~AB~

Countdown to one

As I have previously mentioned, my son turning 1 year old is imminent.  I simultaneously want to cry and woo hoo. Cry at the baby he has left behind, the helpless little creature who clung to me and needed me for everything is now a bottle holding, don't show me I can figure it out myself, face palming, walking toddler.  I complied some photos for our house calendar showing my son every month since his birth and my husband and I really had to struggle to hold back emotion at the year that has flown by before our eyes. 

Then there is the woo hoo-ing.  I have almost two pages in the diary of milestones my son has achieved since birth.  They may sound menial to everyone else but I have made sure I have written down every little thing he has done or achieved and I couldn't be more proud!  At the moment he is still walking aided but every day mostly unknowingly he takes more and more steps unaided so it's only a matter of time and I'm so happy for him.  

I would also like to take a moment give myself a little woo hoo.  Since my son's birth I have seen myself go from a shell who didn't want to go out or see anyone to a working mother to a thriving toddler.  I'm still the anxious mother I started out as but maybe a little less so than a year ago and although I'm still neurotic about bringing up my son, I'm trying to be more open minded.  Although mentally I have also come a long way, changing the way I think will take a long time but I will better myself for my son.   

I have lost weight (not as much as I would like), cut and dyed my hair and discovered a little something called patience. So much has changed and although I never thought it would to this extent, I could never have things back the way they were.  

I'm sure you can read that this is difficult to write and honestly it's hard not to cry.  The next month will be an emotional rollercoaster but once I get everything in order, I will finally be able to sit back and enjoy the birthday party, the festivities and most importantly my first proper Christmas with my one year old son. 

~AB~

It's oh so quiet

I know I have been missing for a while now, truth be told I have no time to actually write anything let alone write something someone would want to read.  

Our last weekend was spent in Poole visiting family, something which we should but never get round to doing quite enough.  Needless to say, the lack of sleep from my son growing and teething at the same time not so much ruined the weekend but helped to contribute to it not going so smoothly... also in true English style, it rained.  Torrential downpours, the entire weekend, topped off by traffic in London as per usual. 

Anyway, it is now December and everything has been kicked up a gear.  I have only just gotten round to doing the Christmas photos of my son so the cards will be later than I would like but it means I have two months down for the calendar (I did Halloween at the same time).  I am still in the process of buying Christmas presents and I am cursing myself that I left it this late, this will definitely not be happening next year! What I have done is confirmed numbers for my son's birthday, sorted out his birthday outfits (yes plural as he has a photoshoot as well), booked his year assessment, vaccinations and first dentist appointment and wrapped all of the presents I do have.  I am not letting myself off of the hook just yet though!  I would like to share with you some of the things I have achieved this month and where I got things from/what I used to help me. 

My planned skirt for the birthday and family photoshoot in two weeks time but in navy as it appears noone sells an affordable navy tulle skirt courtesy of Miss Kris: 
 














My son's birthday and Christmas bow-ties courtesy of Melody of Cuteness: https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/MelodyOfCuteness

Santa's Grotto for your little one for next year as they are all booked up now:
http://www.therainforestcafe.co.uk/

And finally, my son is a massive fan of the star from the Little Baby Bum youtube channel so I will be trying my hardest to make him a twinkle, twinkle cake and have used these to help me mentally create my vision: 

I'm going to try and do this without the words across the middle but instead a big fluffy 1!

 And I saw this tutorial as I'm going to need to hand paint the cake: 

Please let me know if you try/buy any of these as I would love to know what you got up to and hope they all work out for you.  I will definitely post pictures of the finished products though so you can tell me what you think. 

~AB~