Dairy Free Me

Today I watched my office devour an apple tart and dark chocolate torte from Paul.  Inside I'm weeping and I'm hoping the green eyed monster didn't peek through my longing gaze as people went back for seconds.  Yes, I could have had some but would it really have been worth it?  For most it's a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips... for me however it's that plus untold levels of wind followed by so much bloating I look 6 months pregnant for at least three days after (there are other issues but I'm a lady and I won't discuss them in public, I've gone far enough saying I get windy!).  

Since being told I'm dairy intolerant it has been a tough slog.  I loved ice cream and cake and strangely since pregnancy I have also loved cheese but now that is a distant memory.  To be clear, I am not lactose intolerant, I am dairy intolerant.  The difference is that I react to the proteins in milk and not the sugars so lactose free products still cause the same issues. 

As I am new to this, I was unaware of the other factors I would have to take into consideration.  Eating out, the ignorance of others and packet reading now feature heavily in my daily life.  Whilst I accept that I am intolerant and not allergic, I feel I should be clear that this is not a lifestyle choice for me like with socialites and gluten.  I also know others have got it much much worse and I'm not looking for sympathy, only to share a few observations.  

Before, I could grab literally anything I wanted off of the shelf in a shop for lunch, now I have to check the ingredients of everything.  Why you ask? It should be obvious shouldn't it, like a cheese and pickle sandwich clearly has dairy? Whilst I would love for that to be the case, certain retailers and also brands who I will not mention have a penchant for adding skimmed milk powder into practically everything.  I was disgusted to find I couldn't have a packet of dry roasted peanuts or certain salt and vinegar crisps for this reason alone.  

Before, I could go out for a meal and eat anything on the menu... now I have discovered people cook with butter and add cheese to everything.  Dessert at any restaurant is totally out of the question.  An example of this was my work Christmas party where my colleagues sampled such delights as a sweet chestnut charlotte, Christmas pudding with white chocolate ice cream and a chocolate tart, I was offered... fruit salad.  More recently, at a hen do the bridesmaid had booked a sharing menu for the dinner at a restaurant and despite telling the restaurant the dietary requirements, they made no provision for anyone but simply told us which dishes we couldn't eat on the menu.   No alternative was offered for dessert as they didn't have any fresh fruit so another girl and I watched the rest of the table eating theirs.   As you can imagine, this makes meeting up with friends difficult especially if they have chosen an Italian restaurant.  I'm not asking for special treatment but a dairy intolerance is hardly a new development.  I find it hard to believe that putting one less ingredient in recipes would be that difficult that can't be balanced out with extra seasoning, unless everything you have is pre-prepared and frozen, please correct me if I'm wrong. 

Finally the judgement.  Everyone has a view on intolerances and allergies, most are misguided ("I have the low cholesterol margarine that's fine right?"), others are downright ignorant ("well it's only an intolerance so you can still have it can't you?").  There's also the looks implying I'm intentionally being difficult because of course I have manifested an intolerance to be an irritation to people.  

All of that aside however, I have managed to lose and maintain my weight for the first time and because I have to make a concerted effort picking things out for lunch, I find I always try and look for a healthy option.  I have also discovered dairy free baking as you may have seen in previous posts which all come out pretty well albeit a little more dense than I would like.  Last weekend I made this for a friend and her boyfriend, visiting us from abroad: 

http://purefreefrom.co.uk/recipes/lemon-drizzle-slices

And have spent the rest of this week gorging on leftovers of these from the weekend as well:

Their tiffin cake is also good but I definitely prefer these. 

And today, I tried these for the first time and although they taste a little bit too healthy, I still feel like I'm being naughty that there is "salted caramel" in the name and "bakewell tarts" are bad for you. 

 

Although shopping "free from" is super expensive at the moment I am assured the market place for free from products was much worse as recent as 5 years ago.  At least there is now some variety and it tastes pretty good.  It's not easy to eat dairy free but I'm not resentful, I had a good innings with dairy while I didn't know I was intolerant, I've tried and enjoyed many cakes and ice creams and I definitely ate a ton of dairy pregnant.   I just wish people and companies were a little more understanding. 

 

~AB~

What a whirlwind!

Again I apologise for my radio silence.  The last two weeks seem to have been an endless blur of cleaning up half digested food/nappy contents and I cannot tell you how much Dettol has been used to prevent this from spreading further.  

Living in London, you're forever warned about the hygiene of fellow commuters who all seem to sneeze without covering their mouths and noses, yawn loudly and incessantly sniff like they were never told that it's rude and to blow your nose (I was constantly).  The same is said of the cleanliness of surfaces on a tube train due to some people's lack of hand washing.  It is no wonder that norovirus (a milder form of gastroenteritis) and viral infections are rife during the winter months here.  Antibacterial gel is a must have in any handbag.  It is more a wonder if you don't catch anything so it is with pride that I can say that I have never (touch wood) caught anything other than a cold while commuting.  I appreciate how damning this sounds and also how gross I'm making commuters sound but it is not all commuters and given the swathes of people who use transport in London, one person not washing their hands or using gel after sneezing for example and touching a railing spreads a cold/flu like wildfire.  Commuting aside, the other breeding ground would be a nursery... 

We are now 5 days in and my son is still off food.   We have offered him literally everything we have in our house but still no dice.  What I can be grateful for is that he will drink milk and water so he isn't dehydrated.  Obviously for a 14month old this isn't the best diet but at least he's getting some nutrition and not losing any more weight - a huge relief for an anxious mum.  The worst of mine lasted for 24 hours but whilst I'm still feeling niggles when I eat and I'm not back to eating the amount I usually would, I'm still managing 3 meals a day plus some snacks.  Thankfully, we have some reprieve in that today my son was looked after by my mum.  My son absolutely adores her and is generally well behaved for her so this could be the breakthrough we need to kickstart his eating again.  I'm keeping my fingers firmly crossed as it's heartbreaking to see my baby boy this way. 

One thing that seems to have helped albeit only a little is camomile tea.  For some it may seem odd and extremely English that I would choose to brew a cuppa for my son but it's natural soothing qualities were appealing and frankly, I'm not a fan of giving my son medicine for no reason.  As far as I know, there is no medicine to cure an upset stomach for a toddler and I refuse to use something general like Calpol.  Strangely, my son loved it except for when I tried to sneakily add sugar to give him some energy!  Whilst I won't fully advocate camomile tea, it seemed to work for us.  One concern I had though was that I had read a lot of teas naturally contain tannin which affects the absorption of iron.  Being anaemic myself I would usually try and avoid things like this but the plus side of settling my son's stomach outweighed my concerns when using the following logic.  I assume firstly that my son would have to be consuming more than the occasional 4oz I gave him for this to make an extreme difference to his iron levels, I secondly could find no definitive answer as to whether camomile tea does contain tannin and if it does, that it's on the lower end of the scale.  

I'm not a bohemian mother by any means, I'm certainly not chilled out like one but I do prefer to solve upsets as naturally as possible when it comes to health.  That being said, I refuse to subscribe to health fads like buying a smoothie maker... it's a blender people and you already have one!  Hopefully my son is on the path to recovery so I can start relaxing again.  Having an unwell son is such an emotional rollercoaster! 

~AB~

Meal Plan Wins

I know, I am mega late again and whilst I hate to make excuses this was written last week and not posted due to my family being struck down with gastroenteritis but that's another story.  Please ignore the fact it refers to "this week" as that was now in fact last week.  Sorry :(

Anyway, as I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I have been meal planning and my husband even remarked at how much less stressed I was about dinner times.  I know it sounds a little menial to get stressed over something like that but again as I have mentioned before, my husband and my diet wasn't the best pre-baby and when my son finally came of age to be weaned I took this as my chance to transform things.  We barely have takeaways now and I feel like we're all (well my husband and I as my son wouldn't be allowed our takeaways) much better for it.  Also, I am trying to keep to the daily requirements of everything which I had also been finding hard so 5 fruit and or veg a day and then two portions of fish a week. 

Whilst I have always been keen on experimentation - I barely follow recipes and always chuck things in based on the smell of what's currently cooking (which makes cooking with a cold really hard), I tend to gravitate to the same food and they were lazy "typically British" staples like bangers and mash and spaghetti bolognaise.  My main aims with the meal plan were obviously to have a plan rather than going from day to day guessing what I would make that night, to save money, for us to achieve the 5 a day and to have some variety to my meals but not take hours slaving to make them. 

Week one as you saw was a little basic but I had never made cottage pie before and it was a winner.  Last week left a lot to be desired.  I found it difficult to plan and we ended up having leftovers a couple of the nights as it was getting late by the time I was home from work and we had so much left.  This week however, was different.  I had planned the meals out by midweek last week so I didn't have to think about it on Sunday and then rush to the shops before they closed.  I managed to get all of the shopping done in one day and I was a little more ambitious this time.   So far I have managed to get everything done on time and catering to dietary requirements.  This week's menu is as follows: 

The fish pie is entirely dairy free and I think was a winner (my husband didn't hate it so that's a massive win) but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the rest of the week.  I'm definitely looking forward to Friday!  

Here are a couple of the recipes as I think they are way too good not to be shared: 

• Vegan Kofte - http://www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/vegetables-recipes/my-special-vegan-kofte/
• Sweet orange salmon - http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/sweet-orange-salmon 

Sunday this week will be meatball bolognaise as it's a Valentines' Day tradition for my husband and I as an ode to Lady and the Tramp (because that scene is so sweet), I usually alternate each year between pork and beef so I will see how I feel on the day as I bought both sausagemeat and mince in just in case.  Maybe I will get crazy and make both, who knows! 

Happy Valentines' Day! 

~AB~

Parent Shaming

I know I have mentioned many times that I feel a little inadequate as a parent and I have been anxious from day one.  Obviously, as I imagine any parent feels, I want to do the best by my son and I have been known to give myself a hard time about it. 

Not long after I had my son, I was awakened to the world of "parent shaming".   This might be a phrase that has been around for a long time and I didn't know about it but I certainly know the concept of it has been around forever.  To be clear, the kind of shaming I'm talking about is the kind where people outwardly judge other people's forms of parenting because they don't agree with it or don't think it's effective enough.  You've done it I'm sure, where you've seen a child being bratty, the mother is either ignoring them or disciplining them but either way you're thinking, "I wouldn't do that".   Yes, you might be saying it in your head but your eyes and stares speak volumes.  Another example of this is the concept of attachment parenting.  I used to be very judgy about it until I became a parent.  Whilst I vowed never to do it myself, I have learnt that judging people for doing it is not right and it is entirely their prerogative.  Also, my sister-in-law has unintentionally ended up attachment parenting our nephew.  She has been trying to get out of it because people have stuck their two pennies worth in and told her she's wrong for letting her son share their bed but has come to the conclusion that as long as her son is happy, she's happy and he will grow out of it eventually anyway. 

One thing that does get me, is the opinions of those close to us.  I say opinions because that is what they are entirely.   Noone is forcing their methods of parenting onto me but it certainly feels like they are.  From my understanding, a lot has changed in the parenting world and Government advice/family circumstances are different now from 5 years ago let alone 30 years ago, but does that give people that have had children before and raised them to adulthood, the right to criticise my parenting? It's one thing being judged by an outsider but something else entirely when it's within your own circle.   Nodding and smiling to unwarranted advice and comments don't come easily to me and when I do do it, I still feel myself replaying their words over and over as if it were a personal attack.   I get that I sound overly sensitive but sometimes it does get a bit much to deal with and I find myself needing to walk away from it. 

What I have learnt in 13 months of motherhood is that there is no specific path of parenthood.  Everyone does things in a way that suit them.  This may sound like common sense but it's something I need to remind myself of every day instead of criticising my own actions as a parent and constantly comparing myself to others.  When I first became a parent, I spent the first couple of months in a dressing gown and pyjamas because to be quite frank, none of my clothes fit me properly, I hated my body shape and I needed the looseness of pyjamas for comfort while I recovered and to hide myself.  Also though, I mainly just wanted to make sure my son was fed and clean and happy so who cares what I wore doing it.   It turns out people who have done it before do but this little meme helped me ignore the comments... hilarious right?  The fact that this even exists suggests other people felt the same as me when their baby was just born.

Noone should be parent shamed for trying their hardest and making it work as best as they can.  If you do find it getting a bit much, I'm here.  Us anxious parents need to stick together for the reassurance that you're doing a great job and you are amazing.  

~AB~