Today I watched my office devour an apple tart and dark chocolate torte from Paul. Inside I'm weeping and I'm hoping the green eyed monster didn't peek through my longing gaze as people went back for seconds. Yes, I could have had some but would it really have been worth it? For most it's a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips... for me however it's that plus untold levels of wind followed by so much bloating I look 6 months pregnant for at least three days after (there are other issues but I'm a lady and I won't discuss them in public, I've gone far enough saying I get windy!).
Since being told I'm dairy intolerant it has been a tough slog. I loved ice cream and cake and strangely since pregnancy I have also loved cheese but now that is a distant memory. To be clear, I am not lactose intolerant, I am dairy intolerant. The difference is that I react to the proteins in milk and not the sugars so lactose free products still cause the same issues.
As I am new to this, I was unaware of the other factors I would have to take into consideration. Eating out, the ignorance of others and packet reading now feature heavily in my daily life. Whilst I accept that I am intolerant and not allergic, I feel I should be clear that this is not a lifestyle choice for me like with socialites and gluten. I also know others have got it much much worse and I'm not looking for sympathy, only to share a few observations.
Before, I could grab literally anything I wanted off of the shelf in a shop for lunch, now I have to check the ingredients of everything. Why you ask? It should be obvious shouldn't it, like a cheese and pickle sandwich clearly has dairy? Whilst I would love for that to be the case, certain retailers and also brands who I will not mention have a penchant for adding skimmed milk powder into practically everything. I was disgusted to find I couldn't have a packet of dry roasted peanuts or certain salt and vinegar crisps for this reason alone.
Before, I could go out for a meal and eat anything on the menu... now I have discovered people cook with butter and add cheese to everything. Dessert at any restaurant is totally out of the question. An example of this was my work Christmas party where my colleagues sampled such delights as a sweet chestnut charlotte, Christmas pudding with white chocolate ice cream and a chocolate tart, I was offered... fruit salad. More recently, at a hen do the bridesmaid had booked a sharing menu for the dinner at a restaurant and despite telling the restaurant the dietary requirements, they made no provision for anyone but simply told us which dishes we couldn't eat on the menu. No alternative was offered for dessert as they didn't have any fresh fruit so another girl and I watched the rest of the table eating theirs. As you can imagine, this makes meeting up with friends difficult especially if they have chosen an Italian restaurant. I'm not asking for special treatment but a dairy intolerance is hardly a new development. I find it hard to believe that putting one less ingredient in recipes would be that difficult that can't be balanced out with extra seasoning, unless everything you have is pre-prepared and frozen, please correct me if I'm wrong.
Finally the judgement. Everyone has a view on intolerances and allergies, most are misguided ("I have the low cholesterol margarine that's fine right?"), others are downright ignorant ("well it's only an intolerance so you can still have it can't you?"). There's also the looks implying I'm intentionally being difficult because of course I have manifested an intolerance to be an irritation to people.
All of that aside however, I have managed to lose and maintain my weight for the first time and because I have to make a concerted effort picking things out for lunch, I find I always try and look for a healthy option. I have also discovered dairy free baking as you may have seen in previous posts which all come out pretty well albeit a little more dense than I would like. Last weekend I made this for a friend and her boyfriend, visiting us from abroad:
And have spent the rest of this week gorging on leftovers of these from the weekend as well:
Their tiffin cake is also good but I definitely prefer these.
And today, I tried these for the first time and although they taste a little bit too healthy, I still feel like I'm being naughty that there is "salted caramel" in the name and "bakewell tarts" are bad for you.
Although shopping "free from" is super expensive at the moment I am assured the market place for free from products was much worse as recent as 5 years ago. At least there is now some variety and it tastes pretty good. It's not easy to eat dairy free but I'm not resentful, I had a good innings with dairy while I didn't know I was intolerant, I've tried and enjoyed many cakes and ice creams and I definitely ate a ton of dairy pregnant. I just wish people and companies were a little more understanding.
~AB~
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