Countdown to one

As I have previously mentioned, my son turning 1 year old is imminent.  I simultaneously want to cry and woo hoo. Cry at the baby he has left behind, the helpless little creature who clung to me and needed me for everything is now a bottle holding, don't show me I can figure it out myself, face palming, walking toddler.  I complied some photos for our house calendar showing my son every month since his birth and my husband and I really had to struggle to hold back emotion at the year that has flown by before our eyes. 

Then there is the woo hoo-ing.  I have almost two pages in the diary of milestones my son has achieved since birth.  They may sound menial to everyone else but I have made sure I have written down every little thing he has done or achieved and I couldn't be more proud!  At the moment he is still walking aided but every day mostly unknowingly he takes more and more steps unaided so it's only a matter of time and I'm so happy for him.  

I would also like to take a moment give myself a little woo hoo.  Since my son's birth I have seen myself go from a shell who didn't want to go out or see anyone to a working mother to a thriving toddler.  I'm still the anxious mother I started out as but maybe a little less so than a year ago and although I'm still neurotic about bringing up my son, I'm trying to be more open minded.  Although mentally I have also come a long way, changing the way I think will take a long time but I will better myself for my son.   

I have lost weight (not as much as I would like), cut and dyed my hair and discovered a little something called patience. So much has changed and although I never thought it would to this extent, I could never have things back the way they were.  

I'm sure you can read that this is difficult to write and honestly it's hard not to cry.  The next month will be an emotional rollercoaster but once I get everything in order, I will finally be able to sit back and enjoy the birthday party, the festivities and most importantly my first proper Christmas with my one year old son. 

~AB~