Returning to work fears

Unfortunately neither my husband or I are loaded.  We do the lottery (got to be in it to win it obviously) and have had little wins but nothing substantial that we could afford a stay at home parent for the first year and a bit.  This makes me super sad for two reasons: (1) my son is growing so quickly and I miss him when I'm away from him for a couple of hours how I will I cope with a full day and (2) I will miss his major milestones of walking and talking the first time they happen.  If my husband were to be around to see those then I wouldn't feel so upset about it but neither of us will be the first to see it, either family or his nursery will.

Every milestone my son has achieved so far has been met with so much excitement and elation but deep down I can't help but feel everything has happened so quickly.  How is he 6 months and practically ready to be weaned when I only remember being in hospital yesterday? How will I cope without seeing his gorgeous smile throughout the day and his saliva being raspberried all over my face? 

I have requested to return to work part time so I still have a couple of days with my boy before I blink and he leaves home and gets married but it will never be enough.  Since my son's birth I have come up with such gems as, "I just love him so much I want to eat his face", "I can't sleep while he does, I'm too busy watching him sleeping" and my husband's personal favourite, "don't you look at him sometimes and feel like your heart is going to explode?".  I think these lines sufficiently help to describe how I feel about my little boy just like any other parent probably feels about their baby making my impending return to work all the more difficult. 

If we want to continue to keep a roof over our son's head and now that he's starting to eat, feeding him too then I will have to return to work.  Apparently it gets easier with time but that's not enough for me.  Till then I will keep enjoying every ounce of my son till the time comes that I have to return to work, but I will be praying for a more substantial slice of the lottery pie so I can prolong my return just that little bit longer!

I'd love to know, how did you manage to cope with returning to work? Does it really get easier? How did you feel about missing the first time milestones? 

~AB~