Law unto myself

Today I experienced something I haven't for quite a while, a mummy snub.  

The first time it happened it was a woman who I was trying to make a conversation with and she just was not interested in me or anything i had to say.  Later in the class, my son was holding her son's hand (he holds/rests his hand on everyone/thing) and she pulled her son's hand away like she was a complete homophobe.  It makes me disgusted that people like that are still breeding in an open society as we are today.  I won't go into my full feelings on the matter but if my son or any of his friends choose to be someone they're not currently or have different sexual preferences to someone else, that's their choice and we should love and support them.  Unless it's a criminal, I will definitely not support being that.  Anyway I digress...

Today was another buggy fit class and the snub was instead of a conversation as part of our warm up, a power walk away from me.  This happened a couple of times and it's a mum I go out with regularly in a group with which is awkward.  I wasn't sure whether to be hurt or to laugh or maybe tell myself I was imagining things.  I then thought back to all of the things I could have said and done.  I know I am a very anxious mum and I tend to worry a bit too much but better that than not care, right?  I do know that can be a bit intense to some people and I was brought up by pessimists and a hypochondriac so to say that has rubbed off on me is a bit of an understatement.  I called up my husband and I said something I never thought I ever would, "oh well, it's not like I can change who I am".  I have been playing this line back in my head (something I also have a habit of doing) and analysing it.  On the one hand, it could mean I am admitting I'm not easy to get along with and I don't want to change so people should change if they want to get along with me.  On the other hand and this is the hand I am accepting, I am saying I have finally accepted myself for who I am, which has been a long and arduous journey for me.  I have been working on myself for a long time but maybe now things have finally clicked for me.  I know I have never insulted this mum, I have never spoken badly about her behind her back and I value her advice when it comes to developing our children.  Our sons learn from each other and neither of us have ever upset each others' child.  I think that's pretty polite and sociable. 

So I believe the moral of this story is, you cannot please everyone and you're not brought into this world to be friends with everyone.  Stop trying so hard and just embrace yourself figuratively speaking and if you really need it then literally too.   This may all sound like common sense to anyone else, but it has been many many years of getting to this point of acceptance so I think I will too will physically embrace myself. 

~AB~