Trying new recipes

Healthy eating is still a top priority for me and the couple of health scares my family have had in the last 6 months are a sure sign that we need to take care of ourselves.  I have said to my husband so many times, I don't want him to try and get out of being married to me by giving himself a heart attack due to the amount of saturated fat we used to eat.  Extreme I know but what's the harm in a little scaremongering if it keeps him around for a bit longer?

I'm still very subscribed to The Body Coach, it suits my lifestyle and I really enjoy the HIIT workouts (when I can fit them in).  I have also started doing TRX workouts to help tone and I'm loving that too thanks to my PT friend! They're so quick and simple and really target the areas I need to tone.  My kind of exercise.  As well as his recipes I have also looked at alternative sources for getting the best food into my family.  I want the food to taste great as well as look after us but I had found especially towards the back end of 2016 that the dinners were getting all too samey.  I have looked on my usual mum sites (Annabel Karmel, Homemade by you etc) for inspiration but nothing had actually jumped out at me.  This changed just before the new year when I was introduced to Simply Cook.  I had heard of it before and in fact my husband had mentioned something similar to make it easier for us to meal plan.  I stupidly poo-pooed the idea as I thought we could get shopping cheaper and make the dinners cheaper - if he was me, I would be feeling smug right about now.

Simply Cook is a box subscription for simple yet different recipes which you cook in your home and they provide the inspiration (recipes) based on whether you like your food mild, medium or mega spicy and your dietary requirements.  It's basically a lottery of recipes and they pick four for your box at random.  When it eventually arrives (mine took over a week and the holiday season is a terrible excuse) you are supplied with four recipe cards and herbs and spices for each recipe you wouldn't easily be able to get from a supermarket.  You then need to buy the rest i.e. chicken thighs, beef mince, veggies etc.  Last night we tried this for the first time and I chose to cook Bibimbap.  I have never tried this dish before and so had no idea what to expect.  My family are both Jewish and Filipino so my entire life I have been fed a wide range of dishes and am always open to trying new things.  My husband, not so much, but since being with me he has been a lot more willing (within reason).  We're trying to instill this into our son and touch wood, he has been relatively forthcoming so far.  We have also been able to take him out to eat with us like to Thai restaurants and for my Dad's birthday a Japanese/Brazilian fusion restaurant where he ate a lot of the food we did and even tried out chopsticks.  Anyway, here is what it's supposed to look like:

https://www.simplycook.com/recipes/bibimbap-gluten-free

And here is what it actually looked like:

I know my presentation needs work!

I didn't add the Gochujang sauce to my son's meal as it would be wayyyy too spicy although he tried to eat ours a number of times.  I should mention I unfortunately know his spice threshold so I'm not depriving him from anything.  He has had hot wings before - he stole them off of my plate before I could stop him, and while crying looked at me like why are you doing this to my mouth and why aren't you in pain eating them too?  Aside from the beansprouts, he ate every mouthful as did my husband and I and it was delicious! I have cancelled my subscription for the time being as I was a little disappointed I was literally paying for recipe cards and herbs/paste/stock but depending on how the other meals go, we may do it again some time.   We also have their jerk chicken recipe on the menu for this week and then have the Iranian Stew and Jambalaya left to try so I will keep you updated.

Another company I am looking into trying out to expand my offering is Hello Fresh.  Unlike Simply Cook they send you a box with everything you need for each recipe so no shopping is required.  As I haven't yet tried this I can't offer my opinion on it but I'm looking forward to trying them out hopefully in the next couple of months and will feed back! My friend has also tried Mindful Chef which is similar to Hello Fresh.  She has found this a massive help as she transitions to Veganism due to her intolerances.  She has even told me about an amazing recipe for a Black Bean burger - something she would never have tried without them.

I'm so excited for our future meal plans.  I hope this will give me loads of new inspiration and as a foodie my taste buds can't wait.

~AB~


*this post is entirely my own opinion and has not been sponsored by any of the above-mentioned companies

A new year, a new me?

I don't think so.

As I have said before, I will not be making resolutions.  Whilst the new year is the chance to start afresh, I find that January is usually the most difficult month.  I'm still relaxing from the ridiculousness that is the holiday period and let's be honest, like many others, I am broke for most of January so it is difficult to start anything new if I can't afford to do it.  My new year last year started in July when I finished my last session with my kinesiologist feeling bright and optimistic.  It didn't last long, as you may have read in earlier posts but I will take opportunities thrown at me with both hands regardless of the month they are given to me.

2016 was eye opening, not least because I felt the real me for the first time in a very long time even if it was only briefly.  I also hit the bottom again hard and am still trying to resurface.  I know it was a difficult year for many and now that the new year is here, like many, I am waiting in anticipation at what 2017 will now throw at us.  That being said, here are a couple of ideas I would like to try out:

A positive memory jar 
January on Facebook means the circulation of loads of ideas on how to improve your life in 2017.  I usually eye roll at most of them but this idea caught my attention because I think it will have great value in how I view my time.  The concept is, at the end of each week you write down a positive thing/event that has happened and you put it into the jar.  On new year's eve of that year, you then empty the jar and read everything you have put in there, the idea being that you reflect positively on your year and take that positivity forward.  I mostly like this as there are so many little things that happen that you completely forget about and it's nice to remember and relive each moment all over again.

Funny phrases log
This is for those with children but from the moment your child starts speaking - start a log of the hilarious things that they say.  My son's vocabulary and speech have come along leaps and bounds so I am definitely keen to do this.  That being said, at the moment he is mostly a parrot and copying everything so nothing he says is quite so original yet but we will get there.  I will definitely be adding to the list the cute things like "peatot"- teapot and "rainboat" - rainbow as they're the sweetest little words.

What ideas are you planning to try out or have tried already?

And to finish, because she is hilarious, here is a blog post I read a couple of days ago which made me laugh to tears about going back to work after a second maternity leave.  It's an old post but still so valid:

http://www.selfishmother.com/15-good-reasons-to-go-back-to-work/#

~AB~

Christmas and the 2s

My son is now officially 2.  Of course he begun his transition way before he was 2 and his speech is amazing so he can tell us many things that are wrong etc but I'm not going to knock it as he can tell us exactly what it is that he needs.  He received a toy grand piano for Christmas (that is another story) as he loves to sing and dance and treated us to a rendition of the Wheels on the Bus which again for his age is amazing.  I cannot believe he has got to this landmark so quickly, it seems like yesterday I was pregnant and here he is, my own little whirlwind with his own personality and character.  It's easy to see the traits he has picked up from my husband and I... my short patience and inquisitiveness and my husband's charm and sense of humour but he is so much his own person and it's fascinating to see what we have created together.  

This year we took him to see the steam trains at North Weald and he has his very own ride on the Santa Special, gorging on his mince pie at 10am while Santa handed him a present.  From what I can tell he had a lovely time and I'm really hoping that despite how bitterly cold it was he will have some warm memories of it.   If you're ever in the area and you're a huge lover of trains I would definitely recommend it! They also have a vintage bus that can collect you from either Epping or Ongar stations as they have limited parking on site. 

http://eorailway.co.uk/

The train ride was then followed up by lunch in a local pub and then everyone was back to ours after naptime for dinner around 4 which consisted of an oriental themed buffet and Christmas tipples!  As per our new tradition, I made my son's cake and modelled it on a cake I had seen online.  Unfortunately, I left it too late to buy a 2 cake tin, but some of the mum's on the local mums group helped me out with this amazing diagram:

And so, without further ado, here is the cake in stages (I didn't photograph after I filled it):

 

I apologise for the mess you can see in the background but I think given that I finished at 1.30am on the morning of my son's birthday, it doesn't look too shabby! The recipes were courtesy of:

Cake: Aliciak @ Instructables
Filling: All about Chantelle 

I kid you not the cake came out amazingly and even the dairy eaters couldn't tell it was vegan, it also kept for a really long time without going hard or drying out which was also amazing.  For the filling, to keep it dairy free I used Flora Dairy Free butter but it didn't make a difference as again everyone could taste exactly what I was aiming for which was Terry's chocolate orange!  As you can probably see, I had a little trouble when cutting it up and moving it about as the cake started splitting but I don't think you can tell from the finished product and I certainly didn't think about it when I was stuffing it in my mouth.  Another year, another cake but I think these recipes will be used many more times, they were so very easy. 

Christmas here well there isn't too much to report.  It was a lovely quiet one just the three of us and so I made food I know we all love.  Ribs for my little boy and pork belly for me and the husband followed by cheesecake for the dairy eaters and free from chocolate logs for me.  It was a lovely relaxing day and to be honest it topped of an exhausting week, we all went to bed early that night and felt much better for it.  Presents-wise, my son got absolutely spoilt by family as per usual although they all mostly stuck to the list I provided of his favourites so far he was given a car transporter truck full of cars, a train set and a baby Grand Piano (birthday present but still a favourite).  He loved the scooter we got him and has managed to teach himself pretty quickly how to ride it so I cannot wait till he's less full of cold and he can have a go outside.  For me, I asked for a new bag and purse... my son has the best taste:

Happy holidays and hope you have an amazing 2017.

~AB~

Wedding music

Music was a massive thing at our wedding.  Both my husband and I love to sing and although some of our tastes in music differ, we can wholeheartedly agree on Motown and R&B.  When it came to devising music lists for our wedding however, it was so difficult to pick favourites.  My husband and I don't have a particular song which means something to us so we literally had the choice of anything we wanted (except anything that had religious connotations as we had a civil ceremony).  I did originally want to walk down the aisle to Ave Maria but unfortunately due to that rule I couldn't.  We had a lot of Vitamin String Quartet songs because they're amazing and also a lot of the soundtrack of Love Actually.  I walked down the aisle to Eva Cassidy's Songbird and it still makes me cry listening to it as her voice is so beautiful.  Also if you've ever seen the film... Karl.

I have no idea what it will be like for my brother and future sister-in-law and picking music.   Their taste isn't a million miles off of what I currently listen to but they will have a completely different audience than we did.  There has also been talks of a steel band for part of the wedding.

If you need a little inspiration or are simply curious about what I would listen to, here youtubes of two of my absolutely faves (one of which I am singing in my head right now):

And this is the song we ended the night on because "see they don't do this anymore":

Light reading

I am loving this emergence of mothers who feel they can be honest with the world about how hard parenthood truly is.  In fact, Dads have twitter feeds and instagrams with hilarious anecdotes and images that could only come from a parent's camera/experience.   These writings, books and images have given me solace over the last few months so, if like me, you're not quite feeling your best and could do with some cheering up, I hope these help:

Reasons my son is crying: https://twitter.com/reasonsmysoncry
Queens of Constance: http://queensofconstance.com/
Renegade Mothering: http://www.renegademothering.com/
Selfish Mother: http://www.selfishmother.com/
James Breakwell: https://twitter.com/xplodingunicorn
Weird Couples (I am loyal to the original couple and couldn't warm to the new ones - also I totally didn't cry when I found out they were expecting...): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0PtUxA4JeEJErMmcXRhGdM5h9FblUkI3

Weddings, weddings, weddings

I wish I could get married all over again.  I frequently beg my husband to let us renew our vows in Las Vegas.  So far, as I'm sure you can surmise, I have been unsuccessful but I will wear him down and it will happen I'm sure.

The main reason I love weddings so much is probably the research - creating the perfect day of romance but trying to add each of the bride and grooms' personalities in so it's more personal.

My brother-in-law proposed to his girlfriend last Christmas and ever since then she has been slowly pinning ideas to pinterest and gathering inspiration... that unfortunately is as far as everything has gone.   When they last visited us in London she made it clear she didn't have the inclination to do any planning and was hoping someone else would do it for her... I'm sure you can imagine what happened next.  I have spent the last couple of weeks researching venues and the legalities of weddings in Barbados and I have absolutely loved it!  We were all in Barbados a couple of weeks ago and spent an entire day viewing venues.  The weather was horrific but I loved every moment of it.  I put my wedding planning hat on, tried to ask as many questions as possible at each of the venues and managed to narrow down even further exactly what it is that my future sister-in-law wants out of her day.

While the day itself is still another two years away, I cannot wait.  Every spare moment I get for planning will be just as exciting as when it was my own wedding.  Armed with her pinterest page, the budget and my ideas I'm so excited to make her dreams come true and although it's a lot of pressure I will pull it off no matter what it takes.

If you are planning your own holiday abroad, here are some of the venues we have considered:

Bougainvillea Beach Resort

Sugar Bay

The Cliff Restaurant

Cobblers Cove

The Crane Resort

Let me explain...

It has been a while I know and whilst I am making a concerted effort not to make excuses I feel... I should explain.

Obviously I have never made it a secret that I struggle with motherhood, the increasing pressure (probably self-inflicted) makes me feel like a terrible mother daily.  The outpourings on social media of celebrity mothers who themselves are also struggling does serve to ease my mind a little but it is still a daily struggle.

Whilst I am not saying I have post natal depression (as I don't), I am exhibiting a lot of the signs of it but these "feelings" have been around long before my son, I just failed to do much about it instead putting it down to unhappiness or circumstance.  This month has been a "down" month, where I have struggled to do many things, including what I would deem to be a fun mum.  I have signed back up with my kinesiologist to get myself back in order and to an extent that was successful as I had my first and second home painting session with my son in the last couple of weeks that went without a hitch. Until my body started rejecting the new remedies I have been taking and I am now back to square one.  Joy.

When I was younger (like my late teens, early 20s), I had so much enthusiasm and wanted to learn so much from everywhere all of the time.  I have never been a university person, I did go for a year but it really wasn't for me but I love to learn.  I suppose you could say that my thirst for knowledge and learning has never truly waned but my enthusiasm definitely has.  I approach new jobs like a giddy school girl, excited and wide eyed, ready to take on anything.  Usually within the first two weeks, that excitements fades as I am left with the realisation that the company have no intention of letting me learn more than my actual job role and their own disenchantment becomes contagious.  Years of this I suppose have worn me down.

Then there is the social aspect.  I am the organiser, the planner.  I always have been.  Before my son, I was the one who arranged outings, coordinated friends' diaries so we could all meet up and make sure we had gone to that bar that does those amazing cocktails or eaten that weird combination of ice cream that only hipster pop-up bars have etc.  When I started my maternity leave... nothing happened. No one arranged anything, people contacted me to see how I was etc but I am assuming people thought I would be so consumed with motherhood I wouldn't be able to actually go out ever again.  In fact, that was when I needed to go out the most, when I was still in the early stages of motherhood, when my son did nothing but literally drink, sleep and poop and was easy to take care of, before I realised this was not what motherhood was supposed to feel like.  Whilst I love all of my friends, I often feel very much alone.

Maybe to an outsider it is obvious but to me I couldn't see that anything was wrong with anything in my life.  I have a very nice life, my husband is supportive, patient and helpful, my son seems to be trying his hardest not to be a tearaway, I have a good relationship with my sister, my friends are great, I have a roof over my head and food in my fridge.  Life could obviously be a lot worse and I am grateful yet so sad that I don't seem grateful.

As I am writing this, I am indeed, sad.  I don't wish for sympathy or a cuddle I just feel the need to say it out loud.  That does not mean to say this is it for my online diary but I feel like I am spinning so many plates at the moment.  Once I can settle myself, successfully celebrate our family's first holiday and my son's second birthday then maybe things will be a little more calm.  Roll on 2017, I'm so over 2016 already.

~AB~