I have heard from a lot of people around now is the time I will start feeling "the itch". My son is 18 months, he's a little more independent and apparently I will miss having a baby around as I can no longer treat him like one. As I have mentioned in an earlier post I am happy with us being a three and that if that were to change then great but it won't be any earlier than when I'm ready for it.
I have seen many changes in my husband and my son over the coming months, I know it is a developmental change but my son is obsessed with babies, he finds them fascinating and thinks all babies cry, which to him is funny. My husband on the other hand, is trying his hardest not to show it but he is broody for another baby. He has held two of our friends babies and I had seen that look before when our son was first born, if he had ovaries they would have exploded. As someone politely put it, the only one standing in the way of another baby is me.
Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly want my son to be an only child but I'm happy with the way things are right now. I have made no illusion about the fact I find parenting hard and the older my son gets the more difficult I seem to find dealing with him. He seems to currently be going through a stage of finding and pushing all of my buttons so by the time my husband is home for work, I can barely even look at my son. How could I bring another baby into something like that? I said to my sister today, if I had another baby and I feel this way towards my son he would get neglected and I don't want that to happen. I very much want a close family and for my son to embrace a sibling and feel helpful and just as loved but now is just not the time. I am still not physically or emotionally ready.
I also hear a lot that when you have the second one it's easier, but isn't that just what everyone says? What if my second one is worse? One friend admitted their older child is struggling to sleep and they actually get kept up at night by the 2 year old instead of their 5 month old baby who sleeps through. Another admitted they had help bathing both children as the older one refused to be bathed when his 4 month old sibling was bathed. This doesn't sound like something I am ready to get into right now. I know it won't be smooth sailing when I have another child but I'm officially scaremongered. I'm sure in the coming months we will see if my opinion changes but I wish people would stop asking when I'm having another baby. I'm just not ready and no amount of selling it will do that for me.
~AB~
Monday, 25 July 2016
Tuesday, 19 July 2016
Updates on my projects
This last week feels like it has been the most stressful ever, primarily because I put the stress on myself and a deadline which was almost impossible to meet. This is literally the only time I have before the next lot of visitors show up and we have had people round for two days already. On the positive side we have only had to deep clean once and the house is still tidy so thankfully one less thing for us to do and I have finally managed to do an update video of what the house looks like now. The last one was taken on 27th January 2014 when we got the keys to the house so it's a little overdue.
These visits I think have given me the motivation to finish some of the projects I have been putting off and in fairness I just have my son's table and chair to do (I only have to sand and varnish the table and paint and stencil the back bar of my son's chair) and then after next weekend I will be taking a break. I am exhausted yet I feel invigorated it's so odd! I am really really behind on a course I was taking which thankfully is online so I can now catch up to that this week then take a few naps before the next busy weekend ahead, my nephew's 2nd birthday in the South of England. He will be having a picnic in a national park so I would like to do some baking and intend - time permitting to make these:
Then it is also my sister's birthday and I am always the one who makes cakes for her so being dairy intolerant also, I will be making her this:
I am obviously a glutton for punishment.
So what have I been up to? I will tell you.
I have finished (almost) a baby wall for our hallway, I am two frames short but I will be hopefully getting those this week and the pictures are already printed they just need frames. It showcases the generations of our family as babies/kids next to a much needed mirror. My husband dislikes the fact that it's concave but I love it and it also means it can be high up and I can still see myself in it without having to use a stool. I also think we may start adding babies of friends as it still looks a little sparse but without further ado, my family:
These visits I think have given me the motivation to finish some of the projects I have been putting off and in fairness I just have my son's table and chair to do (I only have to sand and varnish the table and paint and stencil the back bar of my son's chair) and then after next weekend I will be taking a break. I am exhausted yet I feel invigorated it's so odd! I am really really behind on a course I was taking which thankfully is online so I can now catch up to that this week then take a few naps before the next busy weekend ahead, my nephew's 2nd birthday in the South of England. He will be having a picnic in a national park so I would like to do some baking and intend - time permitting to make these:
 |
| Annabel Karmel's flapjacks |
 |
| Dairy free coconut and lime cakes |
So what have I been up to? I will tell you.
I have finished (almost) a baby wall for our hallway, I am two frames short but I will be hopefully getting those this week and the pictures are already printed they just need frames. It showcases the generations of our family as babies/kids next to a much needed mirror. My husband dislikes the fact that it's concave but I love it and it also means it can be high up and I can still see myself in it without having to use a stool. I also think we may start adding babies of friends as it still looks a little sparse but without further ado, my family:
Then there is my son's table and chair. The previous owners of the house left behind their children's table and chairs. Unfortunately like many things in the house from them, I have no idea how but they weren't put together properly. In taking the table and chairs apart I have discovered they are from Ikea, they no longer sell them but here is a picture of the table before:
and the chair with a coat of chalky paint:
I decided shortly after both were painted I didn't like the chalky shabby chic finish to them, so they were then sanded down and eggshelled and now the table looks like this:
I taped off the legs and sprayed them with green gloss and the spray went a lot further up than I was hoping but I really like the end effect. I have decoupaged a print of a road onto the table top and although I still need to sand the excess PVA off where it has made the table yellow and then varnish it all, I personally think it's looking great!
I have also finally finished off the cross-stitches I wanted to put up in my son's room, I just need to get one more frame and I'm all done, I will have to take another picture when all three are up together. This was definitely a labour of love for me and it took a lot more time and patience than I thought I had. I have vowed this is now the end of my cross-stitching thanks to that last piece but who knows in the future...
The piece to the right is another pattern from Etsy and although I'm happy with the finished product, it was mega exhausting.
The mirror in our dining room has been looking very lonely and small since we got it and although it's a stunning piece over our fireplace it was smaller than I had hoped, so I managed to find some smaller mirrors on ebay which were originally black and have spray painted them to match the decor of the room a little more. Although they aren't the same gold as the mirror I think they still suit the brown ceiling and beige walls we have.
Finally, and one that I won't be adding a picture for is a canvas of my husband and son having a moment during his 1 year photoshoot. It was such a raw image of my son sitting on his daddy's knee, holding onto his finger and being cuddled and snuggled by my husband. He was so tired and ready for a nap and although it's something that happens every day, it's so lovely to have that moment captured in an image. The 100 x 50cm black and white image now sits above our stairs and is the last thing you see before bed or you go back downstairs. It's perfect.
I'm sure there are other things I have forgotten to mention but for now this is what has kept me so busy. Another update will follow with pictures of the cakes (hopefully).
~AB~
and the chair with a coat of chalky paint:
I decided shortly after both were painted I didn't like the chalky shabby chic finish to them, so they were then sanded down and eggshelled and now the table looks like this:
 |
| Not sure why the right leg looks so wonky, it definitely isn't! |
I have also finally finished off the cross-stitches I wanted to put up in my son's room, I just need to get one more frame and I'm all done, I will have to take another picture when all three are up together. This was definitely a labour of love for me and it took a lot more time and patience than I thought I had. I have vowed this is now the end of my cross-stitching thanks to that last piece but who knows in the future...
The piece to the right is another pattern from Etsy and although I'm happy with the finished product, it was mega exhausting.
The mirror in our dining room has been looking very lonely and small since we got it and although it's a stunning piece over our fireplace it was smaller than I had hoped, so I managed to find some smaller mirrors on ebay which were originally black and have spray painted them to match the decor of the room a little more. Although they aren't the same gold as the mirror I think they still suit the brown ceiling and beige walls we have.
Finally, and one that I won't be adding a picture for is a canvas of my husband and son having a moment during his 1 year photoshoot. It was such a raw image of my son sitting on his daddy's knee, holding onto his finger and being cuddled and snuggled by my husband. He was so tired and ready for a nap and although it's something that happens every day, it's so lovely to have that moment captured in an image. The 100 x 50cm black and white image now sits above our stairs and is the last thing you see before bed or you go back downstairs. It's perfect.
I'm sure there are other things I have forgotten to mention but for now this is what has kept me so busy. Another update will follow with pictures of the cakes (hopefully).
~AB~
Thursday, 7 July 2016
More interiors ideas I'm loving
I know I am a little late this week but things have been busy busy busy at home.
We got some news that isn't the greatest for our household however, this week has also been remortgage time and despite BREXIT (I refuse to speak about it) we just got the most amazing deal with our lender so I'm taking that as our silver lining to stay positive.
Bad news etc aside, I have been up to a lot this past couple of weeks. I'm desperately trying to finish the last embroidery pattern for my son's room, it is such a labour of love but it's almost there. Then there is painting. So much painting. I am so mad at my pregnant self for doing such a botch job on our house. It has been niggling me since I did it that all of the lines on the door frames etc aren't entirely straight and there are blobs of colours that shouldn't be where they are. Also being that we live in an old house, things move so I have had to fill many cracks and holes which I either didn't do two years ago or have appeared and I feel like are mocking me every time I walk into the room. I have used so much caulk, I sent a faux letter to my husband addressed to the supposed creators of commercial use caulk, Elmer Wiggin and Robert Dicks thanking them for their contribution to construction. I am so grateful for the invention of caulk I cannot truly express the words. This weekend will be eggshell time - I have done the white eggshell but unfortunately someone left air to get into our black eggshell (not me) and I had to get some more so I can do our stairs again and door frames. Then there is the table and chairs for my son which have had their first coat but unfortunately due to time, have had to take a back seat. Keeping my fingers crossed for good weather this weekend so I can get those closer to finished too.
So anyway whilst I forget about all of that and have a moment's distraction, I wanted to share some more interiors ideas that pull me in every time I see a picture of them. I don't know quite where I will fit all of these ideas into my house but one day, one day I will incorporate them all!
Herringbone:
Metro tiles laid in a herringbone pattern, I never thought it could get much more beautiful but then I saw the ombre image below and I am seriously lusting. Whilst it must have taken a lot of planning the end result is so beautiful and I'm jealous.
Statement lighting:
One of my favourite lighting places - BHS has gone into administration. I'm so disappointed not only as it's been a British brand for many many decades but because whoever their buyer was for lighting clearly had a talent which wasn't exploited to keep the store alive. The dregs on their website do not demonstrate how truly unique their lighting collection was and unless someone rehires that talent soon and informs me about where they're moving to, I fear I won't ever be able to find a collection like it again.
Wingback chairs:
As you may or may not have seen from an earlier post, I was super excited about a wingback chair which would be the new addition to our lounge which is from MADE.com. I couldn't be happier with it and it looks fantastic next to our shark grey walls and white panelling:
In the process of buying this however we did have another chair in mind which we were also considering:
There doesn't seem to be an image online of the deep red chair we were looking at but this gives you an idea of shape. I love the gentlemen's club look with soft feminine fabric. I do love chesterfield armchairs but they were a little heavy for our room although a chesterfield sofa instead of our current sofa would have been ideal.
Finally, I have fallen in love with the stylings of this particular designer, Suzy Hoodless. In particular her interior design of the Notting Hill Townhouse and Kensington Townhouse which are so in tune with what I love interiors-wise. The simple palettes but complex patterns and textures are absolutely beautiful and I would love the opportunity to meet and/or shadow her or even someone like her one day. I will leave you to explore the images yourself to see what a talent she is (and also to envy the people who I'm sure only live there for half of the year):
http://suzyhoodless.com/project/notting-hill-townhouse/
http://suzyhoodless.com/project/kensington-townhouse/
We got some news that isn't the greatest for our household however, this week has also been remortgage time and despite BREXIT (I refuse to speak about it) we just got the most amazing deal with our lender so I'm taking that as our silver lining to stay positive.
Bad news etc aside, I have been up to a lot this past couple of weeks. I'm desperately trying to finish the last embroidery pattern for my son's room, it is such a labour of love but it's almost there. Then there is painting. So much painting. I am so mad at my pregnant self for doing such a botch job on our house. It has been niggling me since I did it that all of the lines on the door frames etc aren't entirely straight and there are blobs of colours that shouldn't be where they are. Also being that we live in an old house, things move so I have had to fill many cracks and holes which I either didn't do two years ago or have appeared and I feel like are mocking me every time I walk into the room. I have used so much caulk, I sent a faux letter to my husband addressed to the supposed creators of commercial use caulk, Elmer Wiggin and Robert Dicks thanking them for their contribution to construction. I am so grateful for the invention of caulk I cannot truly express the words. This weekend will be eggshell time - I have done the white eggshell but unfortunately someone left air to get into our black eggshell (not me) and I had to get some more so I can do our stairs again and door frames. Then there is the table and chairs for my son which have had their first coat but unfortunately due to time, have had to take a back seat. Keeping my fingers crossed for good weather this weekend so I can get those closer to finished too.
So anyway whilst I forget about all of that and have a moment's distraction, I wanted to share some more interiors ideas that pull me in every time I see a picture of them. I don't know quite where I will fit all of these ideas into my house but one day, one day I will incorporate them all!
Herringbone:
Metro tiles laid in a herringbone pattern, I never thought it could get much more beautiful but then I saw the ombre image below and I am seriously lusting. Whilst it must have taken a lot of planning the end result is so beautiful and I'm jealous.
Statement lighting:
One of my favourite lighting places - BHS has gone into administration. I'm so disappointed not only as it's been a British brand for many many decades but because whoever their buyer was for lighting clearly had a talent which wasn't exploited to keep the store alive. The dregs on their website do not demonstrate how truly unique their lighting collection was and unless someone rehires that talent soon and informs me about where they're moving to, I fear I won't ever be able to find a collection like it again.
 |
| We have this in our dining room (the photo does not do it justice) but I would have liked this instead if we had a spare few hundred pounds: |
 |
| The Lindsey Adelman Bubble Chandelier |
 |
| And we have this in our hallway draping over our monochrome stairs (BHS) |
As you may or may not have seen from an earlier post, I was super excited about a wingback chair which would be the new addition to our lounge which is from MADE.com. I couldn't be happier with it and it looks fantastic next to our shark grey walls and white panelling:
In the process of buying this however we did have another chair in mind which we were also considering:
 |
| Next.co.uk |
Finally, I have fallen in love with the stylings of this particular designer, Suzy Hoodless. In particular her interior design of the Notting Hill Townhouse and Kensington Townhouse which are so in tune with what I love interiors-wise. The simple palettes but complex patterns and textures are absolutely beautiful and I would love the opportunity to meet and/or shadow her or even someone like her one day. I will leave you to explore the images yourself to see what a talent she is (and also to envy the people who I'm sure only live there for half of the year):
 |
| (I mean, just look at this, the tiles, the light, the colours) |
http://suzyhoodless.com/project/kensington-townhouse/
What interiors are you lusting after and who inspires you?
~AB~
Monday, 27 June 2016
Mum advice
A couple of weeks ago I read an article which I have been thinking about a lot. Basically, an amazing mother saw a struggling young mother of 23 and helped her in her "what the f*ck have I done?" moment and then goes on to describe how mothers are given a hard time. The whole story is here and if like me you really struggled and probably still are struggling to get to grips with motherhood, this is well worth a read; to help you realise you're ok and people should just back off sometimes and appreciate what an amazing job you're doing:
https://m.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=1638335349826649&id=1560241024302749
Quite understandably this has gone viral and not only am I all for women helping other women but it makes me feel like there are good people in this world, not the disgusting excuses for human beings we see on the news.
When I was pregnant, I was so excited to be having a baby. I had waited for so long and I loved my changing body and being able to feel my little baby growing and moving. I also loved the pizza, a lot. Fast forward to when I had my son, I didn't really think anything was wrong. I was struggling to come to terms with the fact I had just had a baby, I was overwhelmed, inexperienced and I felt frozen, I didn't know what to do. I thought all parents felt like this when they first had a baby. I stayed indoors for the first 12 weeks only venturing out when I had to to doctors or nurses appointments. I would shower and get straight back into my pyjamas again and I practically lived in my dressing gown. I didn't really want to see anyone/have anyone see me and I was desperate for my husband to come home from work every day that I would practically clock watch. I would get asked by the parents (both sets) if I had just woken up and why I was still in my pyjamas. Firstly, that's none of your business. Secondly, I had gained so much weight in pregnancy none of my clothes actually fit and I couldn't bring myself to dress properly. I hated my body and I couldn't bear to look at it. Could I say that out loud? No but I shouldn't have had to. I know people will say, oh it's a different generation, blah blah blah but does that really excuse looking down on someone who has just had a baby? Also, are you telling me I am expected to dress up for my baby even though we're not going out anywhere and be ready to receive people should they decide to turn up on my doorstep? I don't think so. This is indeed a different generation and one that realises when people need help and/or just silent support.
A year and a half on I'm still hard on myself, I'm still learning every day and I still think I could be a better mum but my son still keeps running after me, cuddling me, affectionately poking me, climbs into my lap with a book for me to read with him and kisses me without being asked so I've got to be doing something right, right? I still have barely any mummy friends, I still struggle to make small talk with other mums but I'm nowhere near the shell of myself I was a mere year and a bit ago. Yes I've had support from family (albeit not silent unfortunately) and I'm lucky enough to have an extremely supportive and patient husband who is not silent but that's a good thing but I have needed a lot of help to get me here. My heart goes out to those who don't have the support. My husband and I have questioned many times how people do this alone and we only have the one child.
If I am ever in the situation part-time working mummy is and I'm not having a breakdown myself, I will definitely help another mum in need. Reading the comments alone has helped me see I am not alone and neither are you. While there are definitely trolls in this world either online or in your own family, you can do this. I can do this. We can all do this and we can all do this together.
~AB~
Quite understandably this has gone viral and not only am I all for women helping other women but it makes me feel like there are good people in this world, not the disgusting excuses for human beings we see on the news.
When I was pregnant, I was so excited to be having a baby. I had waited for so long and I loved my changing body and being able to feel my little baby growing and moving. I also loved the pizza, a lot. Fast forward to when I had my son, I didn't really think anything was wrong. I was struggling to come to terms with the fact I had just had a baby, I was overwhelmed, inexperienced and I felt frozen, I didn't know what to do. I thought all parents felt like this when they first had a baby. I stayed indoors for the first 12 weeks only venturing out when I had to to doctors or nurses appointments. I would shower and get straight back into my pyjamas again and I practically lived in my dressing gown. I didn't really want to see anyone/have anyone see me and I was desperate for my husband to come home from work every day that I would practically clock watch. I would get asked by the parents (both sets) if I had just woken up and why I was still in my pyjamas. Firstly, that's none of your business. Secondly, I had gained so much weight in pregnancy none of my clothes actually fit and I couldn't bring myself to dress properly. I hated my body and I couldn't bear to look at it. Could I say that out loud? No but I shouldn't have had to. I know people will say, oh it's a different generation, blah blah blah but does that really excuse looking down on someone who has just had a baby? Also, are you telling me I am expected to dress up for my baby even though we're not going out anywhere and be ready to receive people should they decide to turn up on my doorstep? I don't think so. This is indeed a different generation and one that realises when people need help and/or just silent support.
A year and a half on I'm still hard on myself, I'm still learning every day and I still think I could be a better mum but my son still keeps running after me, cuddling me, affectionately poking me, climbs into my lap with a book for me to read with him and kisses me without being asked so I've got to be doing something right, right? I still have barely any mummy friends, I still struggle to make small talk with other mums but I'm nowhere near the shell of myself I was a mere year and a bit ago. Yes I've had support from family (albeit not silent unfortunately) and I'm lucky enough to have an extremely supportive and patient husband who is not silent but that's a good thing but I have needed a lot of help to get me here. My heart goes out to those who don't have the support. My husband and I have questioned many times how people do this alone and we only have the one child.
If I am ever in the situation part-time working mummy is and I'm not having a breakdown myself, I will definitely help another mum in need. Reading the comments alone has helped me see I am not alone and neither are you. While there are definitely trolls in this world either online or in your own family, you can do this. I can do this. We can all do this and we can all do this together.
~AB~
Sunday, 19 June 2016
Books my son loves
When my son was born my husband and I vowed to read to him as often as we could. As a result my son absolutely loves books. He enjoys having the one to one time with whoever is looking after him and climbs onto their leg/lap with the book he would like them to read. Once you're done reading to him, he will grab another book and walk off to his armchair and try and read it himself - it's the cutest!
When he was a baby baby, we had a bunch of Usborne books as a great first sensory experience, books with lots of colours and textures like:
This then progressed to being able to read my son stories once he could see all of the colours and I would have to say his all time favourite was (he loved the butterfly and his first proper smiles and giggles were at the butterfly):
He still reads the book now and as a result we have had to tape the spine, many many times. We do have a replacement but that won't ever be used my son! He was then gifted these books:
And his life has never been the same since. He was also gifted Superworm by the same author and illustrator but that has never stuck and although he likes the pictures, he's not so bothered about the story. These two however, he loves everything about them and the fact that there is an amazing animation of Room on the Broom with some of the finest voiceovers ever (David Walliams) makes it even better.
In addition to these two, my son is now obsessed with these two books:
He insists that they be read at least twice a day and loves following the pictures. He even does the same noises I do with the Super Smelly Alien book before I even start reading. Either of these are used as bedtime stories because he just can't get enough of them. And finally, my mum has recently bought him this book:
A lift the flap book about cars, which he loves looking at. He can't read any of the words yet nor is it worth trying to explain the detail they go to telling you about cars and their lives and backgrounds but if he continues to be obsessed with cars and wheels this will be the best thing that's ever happened to him when he can start reading.
Finally, the book I will be buying for literally all of my friends for 1 year birthdays is this:
My cousin bought it for my son for his birthday and he absolutely loves it. He obviously has no idea how to spell his own name right now but he loves the illustration particularly the winding trail which we trace with our fingers and the dragon on the D page as the page is "hot" from the fire he's breathing out. This is an amazing gift and I'm so pleased my cousin actually explained that his name is at the end (I know it seems silly, but you wouldn't have any idea it was personalised) - we have a friend who was also gifted this book for her son and had no idea that it was a personalised book (clearly it had never been read to her son)! In posting the links for this blog post I have now seen they have other books too so I will definitely be buying the space one for my son, he loves anything to do with "tar" and has his own Supermario star plushie that gets a lot of cuddles. I would recommend it to anyone and I would love to hear what your kids favourite books are and your best character noise from it!
~AB~
When he was a baby baby, we had a bunch of Usborne books as a great first sensory experience, books with lots of colours and textures like:
This then progressed to being able to read my son stories once he could see all of the colours and I would have to say his all time favourite was (he loved the butterfly and his first proper smiles and giggles were at the butterfly):
He still reads the book now and as a result we have had to tape the spine, many many times. We do have a replacement but that won't ever be used my son! He was then gifted these books:
And his life has never been the same since. He was also gifted Superworm by the same author and illustrator but that has never stuck and although he likes the pictures, he's not so bothered about the story. These two however, he loves everything about them and the fact that there is an amazing animation of Room on the Broom with some of the finest voiceovers ever (David Walliams) makes it even better.
In addition to these two, my son is now obsessed with these two books:
He insists that they be read at least twice a day and loves following the pictures. He even does the same noises I do with the Super Smelly Alien book before I even start reading. Either of these are used as bedtime stories because he just can't get enough of them. And finally, my mum has recently bought him this book:
A lift the flap book about cars, which he loves looking at. He can't read any of the words yet nor is it worth trying to explain the detail they go to telling you about cars and their lives and backgrounds but if he continues to be obsessed with cars and wheels this will be the best thing that's ever happened to him when he can start reading.
Finally, the book I will be buying for literally all of my friends for 1 year birthdays is this:
 |
| Lost.my.name |
~AB~
Sunday, 12 June 2016
Judgy, judgy
A couple of weekends ago, I was subject to what some might just call opinion but I personally feel it was a little less of an opinion, more of an actual judgement and definitely an attack on my parenting. I know that sounds a little dramatic but that's exactly how it felt to me taking the tone and the look into account as well.
When you think about starting a family as everyone will know you have these delusioned ideas of how you will bring up your child. When other parents tell you that you end up doing and saying things you thought you never would, you laugh ignorantly like you think it will never happen to you. They're a lovely thought and obviously well intentioned but let me tell you straight - you will do things you never thought you wanted to do as a parent. Like TV and swearing and slouching around with wine/spirits when the babies have gone to bed.
Some of the things I said I wouldn't do before my son:
I will explain the things we do do - the tv we do keep to a minimum and it is predominantly used for when I need to shower or do something like wash up. The soother we tried for as long as we could not to give it to him but, and I hate to say it, it was just easier and kept him calmer to give it to him. We are now weaning my son off but he had only had it for naps and sleep only since 12 months. The smothering is more because I can't get enough of him sometimes and I love to give him kisses. I also love receiving his kisses even if my face is dripping afterwards. The letting him sleep in our bed admittedly stopped before he was 1 and was purely reserved for when he was sick. He hates sharing a bed with us and vice versa which is perfect for us - even now if he is sick he prefers to be on his own but with many more cuddles than usual. The saying no constantly is not literally every sentence but I do tell him no more than once a day. Unfortunately, distraction etc are not things my son will accept and no is most effective with him. It's not as bad as I have made it out to be - it is hard to keep control of the things you would prefer not to do when you have a child but if you adapt your ideas, you can limit the extent you become this completely different person after your child is born.
Anyway, you will note the one thing I haven't spoken about is the junk food. Having watched my half brother be pandered to and fed chocolate and sweets whenever he wants, I refuse to do the same. Both my husband and I also have ridiculous sweeth tooths which have stemmed from sweets in our youth and as a result, both of us have fillings. My teeth have actually become worse since I fell pregnant as my sweet tooth has spiralled and I crave sugar constantly. These are not things I wish for my son.
With the neverending stories of child obesity and my history/personal experience I want to try and curb my son's sugar intake and although he does eat a lot of fruit - it is natural sugar and something the body is able to break down naturally. I am very cautious about what I feed him. Cheese is the worst thing I feed him and he only consumes it because of the calcium as he won't just have yoghurts constantly. Being dairy intolerant myself and having him mildly react to milk as a baby I have been reluctant to wean him onto pure cow's milk so his nursery started him on oat milk shortly after he turned 1 and we are slowly following suit. I will be clear, my son has had cake, nutella, jam, juice, jelly, pancakes, waffles, chips, ice cream and ice lollies with me. I am not 100% opposed to these but it is to be a treat and not an every day/every other day occurrence. My husband probably said it the best that people can feed our son things we don't agree with every now and again but as long as we don't continue to feed it to our son, then he won't constantly request/demand it. Unfortunately, some people cannot seem to leave us to our choices.
I will not name names. Let's just say that it was not done that way when we were younger. It all started when I admitted that if my son refuses to eat dinner, I don't offer him alternatives. He will sometimes have toast before bed if he has had nothing at all for dinner and barely anything in the day and that's it. I have heard that at his tender age, toddlers will not starve themselves. I refuse to have a fussy child - I love food and trying new things and so should he one day. I was told that that's not how it works and uncategorically that "you are wrong". They were the exact words. Those words played over and over again in my head for a week. I tried to rationalise it with my husband and he told me that's not what was said and that it's just an opinion. I then ran it by my sister and she tried to reassure me that I'm the parent and everyone parents differently. The more I thought about it, the more I thought no, you're wrong. Wrong for attacking me and also wrong in your opinion as it created more food issues than you think, ones I do not wish to repeat in my son. An opinion is an opinion when you're sharing a view, not when you're making a definitive judgement on someone like whether they are right or wrong. Whether you agree with my parenting style or not, my son is not suffering nor is he unhappy or malnourished. I have had to endure many months of him not eating when I literally did anything to see him eat and although he was skinny, he was still healthy. Now he is constantly eating and this is my opportunity to turn things around.
I would like to think I have enough knowledge about sugar etc to be able to manage a good diet. I try to stick to recommended salt and sugar intakes for toddlers where possible and therefore with the amount of fruit my son eats, I know he's probably hitting the upper limits if not exceeding them for sugar that he does not need a supplement in the form of biscuits, chocolate, sweets or ice cream. As stated above, I also know that the fruits I am giving him contain natural sugar which is easy for the body to break down. I avoid snacks which have added salt and sugar for my son but this is a little harder in cereal. My son rotates between Cornflakes, Weetabix and "O's" for breakfast. The first two as you know are fortified but unfortunately have added salt, the latter is from the "free from" organic section at the supermarket and is mostly natural except for the pomegranate juice from concentrate for flavour. Not the best but better than other mainstream alternatives. I know I must sound obsessive but for me it is common sense, I am not a label reader unless it requires it as my son still cannot eat egg whites. I google recipes constantly to make sure my son gets his 5 a day and at least two portions of fish a week, I make packed lunches if we're going out which has as many healthy snacks as I can fit in his lunchbox. I ensure he has at least one portion of fruit a day and more portions of vegetables.
So round two. My son and another toddler were offered lollies. I said no, the other mum said yes. I was asked why my son couldn't have one as it didn't have sugar in it because it was made from juice and water - it obviously did as these are cheap lollies, they are cheap for a reason. The selling points marketed to me were that it has no additives, flavourings or fat. This is the lolly:
They are marketed as "strawberry FLAVOUR ice lollies to freeze with juice, SUGAR and SWEETENER" - because sugar alone isn't enough right? The second ingredient is juice FROM CONCENTRATE and the third is SUGAR. I am putting these in capitals because I am dumbfounded that I could be frowned upon for not wanting to give this to my child. He is a toddler of a mere 17 months old - what possible benefit could this have to him other than making him hyperactive and possibly staining his clothes? We took our son to the park and said person who offered the lolly came with. I bought my son a lolly as it was warm and he had been good all day. This is the lolly I bought:
I have been unable to find the ingredients online but I assure you, the options are not marketed as a "flavour" nor does it have fruit juice from concentrate. It is pure fruit, the same thing I would create myself at home for my son. I was asked what the difference is and my explanation fell on deaf ears. When another parent pulled out biscuits (covered in icing) and I was asked why my son couldn't have one when there was sugar in the lolly and I stated my argument yet again. I was told (mocked) that sugar gives him energy how will he have any energy if he doesn't have sugar? A few hours later the same person questioned how my son had so much energy that he was able to play much longer than his counterpart - his sugar intake wasn't even brought up. His counterpart was sluggish and my son was running rings around him.
As far as I am concerned, my son has his whole life to eat badly but it most certainly won't be on my watch. I will let him try whatever he wants (within reason - gummy sweets are not acceptable on any level at his age) but there is no way he will be eating it more than once without there being a good reason. While he's young and I still have authority, I will take care of my son and his insides as best as I can. I want him to be as healthy and fit as he can be and whilst I have the manners not to respond back to public mocking, I know I am doing the right thing and I will not be bullied into giving in.
~AB~
When you think about starting a family as everyone will know you have these delusioned ideas of how you will bring up your child. When other parents tell you that you end up doing and saying things you thought you never would, you laugh ignorantly like you think it will never happen to you. They're a lovely thought and obviously well intentioned but let me tell you straight - you will do things you never thought you wanted to do as a parent. Like TV and swearing and slouching around with wine/spirits when the babies have gone to bed.
Some of the things I said I wouldn't do before my son:
- feed him junk food
- let him watch the TV for entertainment/to keep him occupied
- smother him
- let him sleep in our bed
- say no constantly
- give him a soother
- swear in front of him
I will explain the things we do do - the tv we do keep to a minimum and it is predominantly used for when I need to shower or do something like wash up. The soother we tried for as long as we could not to give it to him but, and I hate to say it, it was just easier and kept him calmer to give it to him. We are now weaning my son off but he had only had it for naps and sleep only since 12 months. The smothering is more because I can't get enough of him sometimes and I love to give him kisses. I also love receiving his kisses even if my face is dripping afterwards. The letting him sleep in our bed admittedly stopped before he was 1 and was purely reserved for when he was sick. He hates sharing a bed with us and vice versa which is perfect for us - even now if he is sick he prefers to be on his own but with many more cuddles than usual. The saying no constantly is not literally every sentence but I do tell him no more than once a day. Unfortunately, distraction etc are not things my son will accept and no is most effective with him. It's not as bad as I have made it out to be - it is hard to keep control of the things you would prefer not to do when you have a child but if you adapt your ideas, you can limit the extent you become this completely different person after your child is born.
Anyway, you will note the one thing I haven't spoken about is the junk food. Having watched my half brother be pandered to and fed chocolate and sweets whenever he wants, I refuse to do the same. Both my husband and I also have ridiculous sweeth tooths which have stemmed from sweets in our youth and as a result, both of us have fillings. My teeth have actually become worse since I fell pregnant as my sweet tooth has spiralled and I crave sugar constantly. These are not things I wish for my son.
With the neverending stories of child obesity and my history/personal experience I want to try and curb my son's sugar intake and although he does eat a lot of fruit - it is natural sugar and something the body is able to break down naturally. I am very cautious about what I feed him. Cheese is the worst thing I feed him and he only consumes it because of the calcium as he won't just have yoghurts constantly. Being dairy intolerant myself and having him mildly react to milk as a baby I have been reluctant to wean him onto pure cow's milk so his nursery started him on oat milk shortly after he turned 1 and we are slowly following suit. I will be clear, my son has had cake, nutella, jam, juice, jelly, pancakes, waffles, chips, ice cream and ice lollies with me. I am not 100% opposed to these but it is to be a treat and not an every day/every other day occurrence. My husband probably said it the best that people can feed our son things we don't agree with every now and again but as long as we don't continue to feed it to our son, then he won't constantly request/demand it. Unfortunately, some people cannot seem to leave us to our choices.
I will not name names. Let's just say that it was not done that way when we were younger. It all started when I admitted that if my son refuses to eat dinner, I don't offer him alternatives. He will sometimes have toast before bed if he has had nothing at all for dinner and barely anything in the day and that's it. I have heard that at his tender age, toddlers will not starve themselves. I refuse to have a fussy child - I love food and trying new things and so should he one day. I was told that that's not how it works and uncategorically that "you are wrong". They were the exact words. Those words played over and over again in my head for a week. I tried to rationalise it with my husband and he told me that's not what was said and that it's just an opinion. I then ran it by my sister and she tried to reassure me that I'm the parent and everyone parents differently. The more I thought about it, the more I thought no, you're wrong. Wrong for attacking me and also wrong in your opinion as it created more food issues than you think, ones I do not wish to repeat in my son. An opinion is an opinion when you're sharing a view, not when you're making a definitive judgement on someone like whether they are right or wrong. Whether you agree with my parenting style or not, my son is not suffering nor is he unhappy or malnourished. I have had to endure many months of him not eating when I literally did anything to see him eat and although he was skinny, he was still healthy. Now he is constantly eating and this is my opportunity to turn things around.
I would like to think I have enough knowledge about sugar etc to be able to manage a good diet. I try to stick to recommended salt and sugar intakes for toddlers where possible and therefore with the amount of fruit my son eats, I know he's probably hitting the upper limits if not exceeding them for sugar that he does not need a supplement in the form of biscuits, chocolate, sweets or ice cream. As stated above, I also know that the fruits I am giving him contain natural sugar which is easy for the body to break down. I avoid snacks which have added salt and sugar for my son but this is a little harder in cereal. My son rotates between Cornflakes, Weetabix and "O's" for breakfast. The first two as you know are fortified but unfortunately have added salt, the latter is from the "free from" organic section at the supermarket and is mostly natural except for the pomegranate juice from concentrate for flavour. Not the best but better than other mainstream alternatives. I know I must sound obsessive but for me it is common sense, I am not a label reader unless it requires it as my son still cannot eat egg whites. I google recipes constantly to make sure my son gets his 5 a day and at least two portions of fish a week, I make packed lunches if we're going out which has as many healthy snacks as I can fit in his lunchbox. I ensure he has at least one portion of fruit a day and more portions of vegetables.
So round two. My son and another toddler were offered lollies. I said no, the other mum said yes. I was asked why my son couldn't have one as it didn't have sugar in it because it was made from juice and water - it obviously did as these are cheap lollies, they are cheap for a reason. The selling points marketed to me were that it has no additives, flavourings or fat. This is the lolly:
They are marketed as "strawberry FLAVOUR ice lollies to freeze with juice, SUGAR and SWEETENER" - because sugar alone isn't enough right? The second ingredient is juice FROM CONCENTRATE and the third is SUGAR. I am putting these in capitals because I am dumbfounded that I could be frowned upon for not wanting to give this to my child. He is a toddler of a mere 17 months old - what possible benefit could this have to him other than making him hyperactive and possibly staining his clothes? We took our son to the park and said person who offered the lolly came with. I bought my son a lolly as it was warm and he had been good all day. This is the lolly I bought:
I have been unable to find the ingredients online but I assure you, the options are not marketed as a "flavour" nor does it have fruit juice from concentrate. It is pure fruit, the same thing I would create myself at home for my son. I was asked what the difference is and my explanation fell on deaf ears. When another parent pulled out biscuits (covered in icing) and I was asked why my son couldn't have one when there was sugar in the lolly and I stated my argument yet again. I was told (mocked) that sugar gives him energy how will he have any energy if he doesn't have sugar? A few hours later the same person questioned how my son had so much energy that he was able to play much longer than his counterpart - his sugar intake wasn't even brought up. His counterpart was sluggish and my son was running rings around him.
As far as I am concerned, my son has his whole life to eat badly but it most certainly won't be on my watch. I will let him try whatever he wants (within reason - gummy sweets are not acceptable on any level at his age) but there is no way he will be eating it more than once without there being a good reason. While he's young and I still have authority, I will take care of my son and his insides as best as I can. I want him to be as healthy and fit as he can be and whilst I have the manners not to respond back to public mocking, I know I am doing the right thing and I will not be bullied into giving in.
~AB~
Monday, 6 June 2016
Ikea hacks I wish I had the time for
I adore Ikea and I do indeed have a few pieces from there. The thing I dislike about Ikea is that I'm not the only one who loves them and also they are ridiculously affordable meaning that lots of other people have the same furniture that I do. Obviously other people feel the same way and this has given rise to one of the things I find most exciting about our generation - upcycling.
I am constantly saying I want to do this to that mirror and this wall will have that and I will paint that table this colour and I will get to them all one day but in the meantime to add to my dream list, here are some of my favourite Ikea hacks that I may or may not finish one day:
 | ||
| Rast chest of 3 drawers - Ikeahackers |
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| Tarva dresser - Sarah Sherman Samuel |
 |
| Vittsjo nesting tables - Melodrama |
 |
| Lack Grundtal table |
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| http://www.remodelaholic.com/transform-ikea-cubbies-pottery-barn-console/ |
~AB~
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