Keeping busy

At the moment, free time is a bit of a luxury.  I am making a concerted effort to no longer use my iPad or phone for long periods in front of my son and I have deactivated my Facebook profile again so I have no other distractions.

I have been trying to get our household in order which means sorting out the new room for my son. Since last posting the ideas I had, things have now changed somewhat.  I won't be posting the new ideas up here as I'm still not 100% myself - I still have no idea what to do about furniture, but what I have decided on is as follows:

• A car track (like Scalextric) chandelier 
• a very pale grey blue on the top 2/3rds of the room 
• a 10cm magnetic strip border 
• navy paint on the bottom half of the walls with classic cars stencilled out of it 

No more mural, no more red but definitely still a car bed.  The border should be able to hold die-cast cars but this will have to tested by my husband.  Whilst I'm a little disappointed that my son will be getting a "typical" room, it is after all what he absolutely loves and I want a room that will grow with him for a few years.  Blue is in no way as aggressive as a red room so this is the safer bet for now.  In a bid to cut costs, I have been the one stripping away the walls my father so kindly decorated a mere 3 years ago.  Unfortunately it has taken me two nap times to do just one wall but I'm hoping to improve on that.  I have also stripped right back to the concrete which is really time consuming but I'm hoping will be well worth it in the end.  Photos will follow once things start coming into place a little bit more.  

Separately, I have also been trying to keep myself and my son busy doing stuff together.  I know that because of anxieties etc I am not able to entertain my son the way he needs to be.  It also means that I neglect taking him out on walks etc because I mentally cannot get myself out of the house.  Some could view this as a shortcoming but it is one that, if I wasn't struggling I would be able to ignore. That being said, on Saturday morning before the party, my son gave his scooter a whirl for the first time outside (he rides it up and down our hallway sometimes) but he did get bored and run off after a while so we put it back in the house and went for a long walk.  My son is a massive fan of Julia Donaldson's Stick Man and so we managed to find many stick men and stick babies over the course of our hour long walk.  This is pretty rare, we don't usually do things like this and I am regretful for it so I have set in place a bunch of activities to keep us constantly moving.   

I have three days a week alone with my son.  Three full days to keep him busy and happy.  On Mondays I have now enrolled my son back into swimming classes.  His interest and love of water has grown exponentially since our holiday and although he fights me when I try and hold him (because he thinks he can learn to swim "on my own") he loved our first class together.  It feels like we're truly bonding as well because I can feel his trust in me when I have to have him lie back in the water.  He holds my hand if ever he feels scared which is not often and I can relax too as I love the water.  On Tuesdays, we have music classes.  My son has started to rebel against the classes by running around during them instead of sitting and listening/copying the teacher so I'm a little concerned as to whether we should continue next term but I am keen for him to be musical.  Both my husband and I learnt instruments in school and we were both part of our school choirs and I have rejoined one recently as a hobby.  He seems to have an affinity for pianos and keyboards but his concentration span is so short so I need to find something that works for him.   Wednesdays is playgroup day, he has an entire hour and half dedicated to toys which are not his own.  He can create as much mess as he likes (within reason) and he has access to things we don't have at home like balance bikes.  He loves his Wednesdays and it's nice to see him sometimes sharing toys or playing nicely with others.  All of these activities force me to get out of the house, I have to do it and therefore my son gets a little more of me and serious bonding time. 

I have also been looking at other things we can do together.  I would love to take him to the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich.  They have a new gallery for under 7's called Ahoy! which sounds like something he would love. 

National Maritime Museum (c) Maternity Leave Life

We have already been on the Gruffalo trail but there is now an app where you can see the characters live and even take a picture of them with your child: https://www.familiesonline.co.uk/life/news/bring-the-gruffalo-characters-to-life-with-gruffalo-spotters so this definitely warrants another trip back. 

Not too far from there is also a Stick Man trail which we need to go to:

Weald Country Park (c) Essex County Parks

And finally, I have been meaning to do this with my son, ceramic painting.  We did try to go during the half term as I completely forgot it was half term but the shop was fully booked.  I intend to take me son here so we can paint him a piggy bank and we can start paying him when he tidies up.  He thinks coins are magic so this is perfect although I imagine there will be a lot of putting the coins in and taking them out again initially.  

This seems so tame I know but I assure you I have been trying to mentally do these things for at least the last month and none have come to pass.  I will let you know when we do though. 

~AB~

We're all in the same boat

Last weekend, my son had two birthday parties.  Two 1 year olds in one weekend and it was exhausting.  My experience after the second party however makes me feel like I'm not alone.  I will explain later.

The first of the two parties was in a scout hut, a free for all for all kids and a standard party of food and music with scattered toys for different ages and a bouncy castle.  However, it was in the middle of the day and by that I mean while my son would usually be napping.  The kids there ranged from a couple of months to pre-teens.  My friend did the best she could with that situation, she also catered for me and my sister with tons of dairy free food so I shouldn't complain. My son however, spent the entire time we were there trying to escape and edging towards the door when he thought people weren't looking.  They say your children can sense how you are feeling and I feel badly that he may have been acting out how I was feeling but it just wasn't our kind of thing, we promptly left and my son was grouchy for the rest of the afternoon having had only 20 minutes of nap on the way there and basically very little to eat.

The following day, the party was held at a local soft play space.  It was about the size of a small shop and it was perfect and safe and had just the right amount of climbing things to keep my son occupied and there were soft mats everywhere.  The place looked like it was made for my son.  It was at a very sociable 10.30am and everything was done by 12.30pm.  The play was broken up by singing in a circle and pretending they were animals of different sorts with a lot of encouragement on imaginative play. Then after sandwiches, they all went back to play again for another 30 minutes before singing happy birthday and then we all left.  My son again ate nothing but he walked out and said, "Mummy, my had fun".  My heart melted.  That's all I can ask for, I know fun doesn't feed him but I loved that he enjoyed himself.  We took him to the local supermarket to get something quick to eat and he started to fall asleep in the trolley (we have to get a trolley otherwise he gets annoyed even if it's for two things - this is a different story).  I did have to wake him to feed him but afterwards he had a lovely long nap and woke up refreshed and happy.  Perfect.

Now, the supermarket trip was lovely for two reasons.  One, my son falling asleep in a trolley is really sweet, he must have been so tired!  Two, the trip back to the car.  At supermarkets there are usually many parent and child car spaces.  Usually you don't really see the other parents as they are literally just taking their child out or putting their child in the car so you don't pay attention.  At the party, only the children were catered for so when we went to the supermarket we got sandwiches for myself and my husband too to eat in the car.  While I was finishing feeding my son in the trolley by our car, there was a mother who had clearly bought a train set, wrapping paper and tape from the supermarket and was wrapping said train set on the bonnet of her car while her husband entertained their children.   Queue another family who were walking back to their car.  A husband, wife and their two kids who had obviously been winding up their mother something rotten and the dad was doing his best to keep things calm.  He looked over at my son sitting quietly in the trolley with a full mouth and smiled at him.  I looked over at the mum and smiled at her because who hasn't had a day like that.  When I had loaded my son into his car seat and sat down to start my sandwich, I said to my husband, "that poor mum, she looked so tired", he responded with, "well she must be to have come to the supermarket in her slippers".  I hadn't even noticed.  If I could genuinely pull this off, I would have done it many times too.  Those two women represent two parts of me that are a constant struggle I imagine for most mums if not some dads too.  Trying to stay on top of everything all of the time is so very very hard.  I couldn't help but smile to myself because we're all in the same boat, every day isn't a pipe dream and I wish that sometimes it were a little easier but then it wouldn't be so rewarding if parenting was easy.

~AB~

Trying new recipes

Healthy eating is still a top priority for me and the couple of health scares my family have had in the last 6 months are a sure sign that we need to take care of ourselves.  I have said to my husband so many times, I don't want him to try and get out of being married to me by giving himself a heart attack due to the amount of saturated fat we used to eat.  Extreme I know but what's the harm in a little scaremongering if it keeps him around for a bit longer?

I'm still very subscribed to The Body Coach, it suits my lifestyle and I really enjoy the HIIT workouts (when I can fit them in).  I have also started doing TRX workouts to help tone and I'm loving that too thanks to my PT friend! They're so quick and simple and really target the areas I need to tone.  My kind of exercise.  As well as his recipes I have also looked at alternative sources for getting the best food into my family.  I want the food to taste great as well as look after us but I had found especially towards the back end of 2016 that the dinners were getting all too samey.  I have looked on my usual mum sites (Annabel Karmel, Homemade by you etc) for inspiration but nothing had actually jumped out at me.  This changed just before the new year when I was introduced to Simply Cook.  I had heard of it before and in fact my husband had mentioned something similar to make it easier for us to meal plan.  I stupidly poo-pooed the idea as I thought we could get shopping cheaper and make the dinners cheaper - if he was me, I would be feeling smug right about now.

Simply Cook is a box subscription for simple yet different recipes which you cook in your home and they provide the inspiration (recipes) based on whether you like your food mild, medium or mega spicy and your dietary requirements.  It's basically a lottery of recipes and they pick four for your box at random.  When it eventually arrives (mine took over a week and the holiday season is a terrible excuse) you are supplied with four recipe cards and herbs and spices for each recipe you wouldn't easily be able to get from a supermarket.  You then need to buy the rest i.e. chicken thighs, beef mince, veggies etc.  Last night we tried this for the first time and I chose to cook Bibimbap.  I have never tried this dish before and so had no idea what to expect.  My family are both Jewish and Filipino so my entire life I have been fed a wide range of dishes and am always open to trying new things.  My husband, not so much, but since being with me he has been a lot more willing (within reason).  We're trying to instill this into our son and touch wood, he has been relatively forthcoming so far.  We have also been able to take him out to eat with us like to Thai restaurants and for my Dad's birthday a Japanese/Brazilian fusion restaurant where he ate a lot of the food we did and even tried out chopsticks.  Anyway, here is what it's supposed to look like:

https://www.simplycook.com/recipes/bibimbap-gluten-free

And here is what it actually looked like:

I know my presentation needs work!

I didn't add the Gochujang sauce to my son's meal as it would be wayyyy too spicy although he tried to eat ours a number of times.  I should mention I unfortunately know his spice threshold so I'm not depriving him from anything.  He has had hot wings before - he stole them off of my plate before I could stop him, and while crying looked at me like why are you doing this to my mouth and why aren't you in pain eating them too?  Aside from the beansprouts, he ate every mouthful as did my husband and I and it was delicious! I have cancelled my subscription for the time being as I was a little disappointed I was literally paying for recipe cards and herbs/paste/stock but depending on how the other meals go, we may do it again some time.   We also have their jerk chicken recipe on the menu for this week and then have the Iranian Stew and Jambalaya left to try so I will keep you updated.

Another company I am looking into trying out to expand my offering is Hello Fresh.  Unlike Simply Cook they send you a box with everything you need for each recipe so no shopping is required.  As I haven't yet tried this I can't offer my opinion on it but I'm looking forward to trying them out hopefully in the next couple of months and will feed back! My friend has also tried Mindful Chef which is similar to Hello Fresh.  She has found this a massive help as she transitions to Veganism due to her intolerances.  She has even told me about an amazing recipe for a Black Bean burger - something she would never have tried without them.

I'm so excited for our future meal plans.  I hope this will give me loads of new inspiration and as a foodie my taste buds can't wait.

~AB~


*this post is entirely my own opinion and has not been sponsored by any of the above-mentioned companies

A new year, a new me?

I don't think so.

As I have said before, I will not be making resolutions.  Whilst the new year is the chance to start afresh, I find that January is usually the most difficult month.  I'm still relaxing from the ridiculousness that is the holiday period and let's be honest, like many others, I am broke for most of January so it is difficult to start anything new if I can't afford to do it.  My new year last year started in July when I finished my last session with my kinesiologist feeling bright and optimistic.  It didn't last long, as you may have read in earlier posts but I will take opportunities thrown at me with both hands regardless of the month they are given to me.

2016 was eye opening, not least because I felt the real me for the first time in a very long time even if it was only briefly.  I also hit the bottom again hard and am still trying to resurface.  I know it was a difficult year for many and now that the new year is here, like many, I am waiting in anticipation at what 2017 will now throw at us.  That being said, here are a couple of ideas I would like to try out:

A positive memory jar 
January on Facebook means the circulation of loads of ideas on how to improve your life in 2017.  I usually eye roll at most of them but this idea caught my attention because I think it will have great value in how I view my time.  The concept is, at the end of each week you write down a positive thing/event that has happened and you put it into the jar.  On new year's eve of that year, you then empty the jar and read everything you have put in there, the idea being that you reflect positively on your year and take that positivity forward.  I mostly like this as there are so many little things that happen that you completely forget about and it's nice to remember and relive each moment all over again.

Funny phrases log
This is for those with children but from the moment your child starts speaking - start a log of the hilarious things that they say.  My son's vocabulary and speech have come along leaps and bounds so I am definitely keen to do this.  That being said, at the moment he is mostly a parrot and copying everything so nothing he says is quite so original yet but we will get there.  I will definitely be adding to the list the cute things like "peatot"- teapot and "rainboat" - rainbow as they're the sweetest little words.

What ideas are you planning to try out or have tried already?

And to finish, because she is hilarious, here is a blog post I read a couple of days ago which made me laugh to tears about going back to work after a second maternity leave.  It's an old post but still so valid:

http://www.selfishmother.com/15-good-reasons-to-go-back-to-work/#

~AB~

Christmas and the 2s

My son is now officially 2.  Of course he begun his transition way before he was 2 and his speech is amazing so he can tell us many things that are wrong etc but I'm not going to knock it as he can tell us exactly what it is that he needs.  He received a toy grand piano for Christmas (that is another story) as he loves to sing and dance and treated us to a rendition of the Wheels on the Bus which again for his age is amazing.  I cannot believe he has got to this landmark so quickly, it seems like yesterday I was pregnant and here he is, my own little whirlwind with his own personality and character.  It's easy to see the traits he has picked up from my husband and I... my short patience and inquisitiveness and my husband's charm and sense of humour but he is so much his own person and it's fascinating to see what we have created together.  

This year we took him to see the steam trains at North Weald and he has his very own ride on the Santa Special, gorging on his mince pie at 10am while Santa handed him a present.  From what I can tell he had a lovely time and I'm really hoping that despite how bitterly cold it was he will have some warm memories of it.   If you're ever in the area and you're a huge lover of trains I would definitely recommend it! They also have a vintage bus that can collect you from either Epping or Ongar stations as they have limited parking on site. 

http://eorailway.co.uk/

The train ride was then followed up by lunch in a local pub and then everyone was back to ours after naptime for dinner around 4 which consisted of an oriental themed buffet and Christmas tipples!  As per our new tradition, I made my son's cake and modelled it on a cake I had seen online.  Unfortunately, I left it too late to buy a 2 cake tin, but some of the mum's on the local mums group helped me out with this amazing diagram:

And so, without further ado, here is the cake in stages (I didn't photograph after I filled it):

 

I apologise for the mess you can see in the background but I think given that I finished at 1.30am on the morning of my son's birthday, it doesn't look too shabby! The recipes were courtesy of:

Cake: Aliciak @ Instructables
Filling: All about Chantelle 

I kid you not the cake came out amazingly and even the dairy eaters couldn't tell it was vegan, it also kept for a really long time without going hard or drying out which was also amazing.  For the filling, to keep it dairy free I used Flora Dairy Free butter but it didn't make a difference as again everyone could taste exactly what I was aiming for which was Terry's chocolate orange!  As you can probably see, I had a little trouble when cutting it up and moving it about as the cake started splitting but I don't think you can tell from the finished product and I certainly didn't think about it when I was stuffing it in my mouth.  Another year, another cake but I think these recipes will be used many more times, they were so very easy. 

Christmas here well there isn't too much to report.  It was a lovely quiet one just the three of us and so I made food I know we all love.  Ribs for my little boy and pork belly for me and the husband followed by cheesecake for the dairy eaters and free from chocolate logs for me.  It was a lovely relaxing day and to be honest it topped of an exhausting week, we all went to bed early that night and felt much better for it.  Presents-wise, my son got absolutely spoilt by family as per usual although they all mostly stuck to the list I provided of his favourites so far he was given a car transporter truck full of cars, a train set and a baby Grand Piano (birthday present but still a favourite).  He loved the scooter we got him and has managed to teach himself pretty quickly how to ride it so I cannot wait till he's less full of cold and he can have a go outside.  For me, I asked for a new bag and purse... my son has the best taste:

Happy holidays and hope you have an amazing 2017.

~AB~

Wedding music

Music was a massive thing at our wedding.  Both my husband and I love to sing and although some of our tastes in music differ, we can wholeheartedly agree on Motown and R&B.  When it came to devising music lists for our wedding however, it was so difficult to pick favourites.  My husband and I don't have a particular song which means something to us so we literally had the choice of anything we wanted (except anything that had religious connotations as we had a civil ceremony).  I did originally want to walk down the aisle to Ave Maria but unfortunately due to that rule I couldn't.  We had a lot of Vitamin String Quartet songs because they're amazing and also a lot of the soundtrack of Love Actually.  I walked down the aisle to Eva Cassidy's Songbird and it still makes me cry listening to it as her voice is so beautiful.  Also if you've ever seen the film... Karl.

I have no idea what it will be like for my brother and future sister-in-law and picking music.   Their taste isn't a million miles off of what I currently listen to but they will have a completely different audience than we did.  There has also been talks of a steel band for part of the wedding.

If you need a little inspiration or are simply curious about what I would listen to, here youtubes of two of my absolutely faves (one of which I am singing in my head right now):

And this is the song we ended the night on because "see they don't do this anymore":

Light reading

I am loving this emergence of mothers who feel they can be honest with the world about how hard parenthood truly is.  In fact, Dads have twitter feeds and instagrams with hilarious anecdotes and images that could only come from a parent's camera/experience.   These writings, books and images have given me solace over the last few months so, if like me, you're not quite feeling your best and could do with some cheering up, I hope these help:

Reasons my son is crying: https://twitter.com/reasonsmysoncry
Queens of Constance: http://queensofconstance.com/
Renegade Mothering: http://www.renegademothering.com/
Selfish Mother: http://www.selfishmother.com/
James Breakwell: https://twitter.com/xplodingunicorn
Weird Couples (I am loyal to the original couple and couldn't warm to the new ones - also I totally didn't cry when I found out they were expecting...): https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0PtUxA4JeEJErMmcXRhGdM5h9FblUkI3