Last week I drove a considerable distance to play date with a friend of mine. Her second child was approaching 6 months and I got the impression she might be a little lonely. She had also never been to the wonder that is playgroup. I have been singing the praises of playgroups to my friends from the moment I started going in March. I mean what's not to love about a place you and your child(ren) can go to for £1 where you get given a tea/coffee and biscuits and your child gets to play with a ton of different toys with a bunch of his peers? My son literally leaves me at the door as we walk into the place!
Anyway, my friend has never been to one before and I thought this was the perfect opportunity, so I accompanied her to her local group which was practically at the end of her road. The mums were lovely and from the moment we got in there they started chatting to us. Better still my son and my friend's son were off from the moment we walked in the door, loving every moment of their new play space. My friend sat there in shock sipping her hot tea, being able to use both hands without a child in either. She couldn't believe it was possible for her to have free time like this and most mums don't. I know she was probably thinking right now her daughter could be napping, her son playing in his playroom and she could be ironing/cleaning/doing laundry. Something other than taking time for herself. I dread to think the last time she had a cup of tea that wasn't cold.
I managed to make conversation without awkwardness or feeling like it was hard work, my friend on the other hand barely spoke and sat quietly taking it all in. This was the same friend who had told me when I was pregnant, that you need to go to antenatal classes so you have some mum friends even if you don't listen to what they have to say (we didn't bother going to antenatal classes by the way). I have four mum friends from classes I took my son to, plus my sister-in-law and a couple of other "original" friends who now have babies, I really didn't feel the need to force it and I still don't now. I couldn't help but think though, if this were a year ago would I really be so comfortable? I was almost in awe of myself, speaking to other mums as if it were nothing and being relaxed for a change and it was amazing to feel a little more in control.
I'm hoping though now my friend has been (and she is kicking herself she didn't go sooner), she will continue to go without my son and I. She deserves the break even if she doesn't think she does and she might even meet new people who live in her area. I don't think I will ever feel truly comfortable meeting new people. I still carry that shy and socially awkward girl from two years ago but one thing is for sure, I'm slowly but surely coming out of my cocoon and I can now see the progress.
~AB~
I managed to make conversation without awkwardness or feeling like it was hard work, my friend on the other hand barely spoke and sat quietly taking it all in. This was the same friend who had told me when I was pregnant, that you need to go to antenatal classes so you have some mum friends even if you don't listen to what they have to say (we didn't bother going to antenatal classes by the way). I have four mum friends from classes I took my son to, plus my sister-in-law and a couple of other "original" friends who now have babies, I really didn't feel the need to force it and I still don't now. I couldn't help but think though, if this were a year ago would I really be so comfortable? I was almost in awe of myself, speaking to other mums as if it were nothing and being relaxed for a change and it was amazing to feel a little more in control.
I'm hoping though now my friend has been (and she is kicking herself she didn't go sooner), she will continue to go without my son and I. She deserves the break even if she doesn't think she does and she might even meet new people who live in her area. I don't think I will ever feel truly comfortable meeting new people. I still carry that shy and socially awkward girl from two years ago but one thing is for sure, I'm slowly but surely coming out of my cocoon and I can now see the progress.
~AB~